Oh, look! Phillip Garrido, the maniac who kidnapped Jaycee Dugard 18 years ago, kept her in his horrific backyard and then twice impregnated her, has a blog! And it's scary!

Not satisfied with being a kidnapping rapist, Garrido shot for the stars and took it upon himself to be a religious fanatic who believes "the Creator has given me the ability to speak in the tongue of angels in order to provide a wake-up call that will in time include the salvation of the entire world." Or that's what he writes on Voices Revealed, a blog associated with God's Desire, a "church" Garrido registered in June of 2008.

It's on this blog that Garrido posted a "declaration of affirmation" that insists he can control sound with his mind:

This document is to affirm that I Phillip Garrido have clearly demonstrated the ability to control sound with my mind and have developed a device for others to witness this phenomena. by using a sound generator to provide the sound, and a headphone amplification system, ( a device to focuc your hearing so as to increase the sensitivity of what one is listening to) I have produced a set of voices by effectively controlling the sound to pronounce words through my own mental powers.

He insists that he's been sent to earth to convey "the Creator's" message. It all began, he rambles, when God removed "a problem from my shoulders that behavioral scientist [sic] believe is not possible to remove." Well, that makes sense.

Though he was hellbent on spreading his message, Garrido — who goes by the handle "themanwhospokehismind" — insists he sought no controversy.

CONTROVERSY IS NOT WELCOME FOR I CHALLENGE NO ONES PERSONAL BELIEFS CONCERNING GOD. THIS IS TO PROVIDE A WAKE UP CALL THAT WILL BEGIN SAVING LIVES AND OPEN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF DEVELOPING HIS PURPOSE. THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXAMINE HAS COME IN PEACE THROUGH SOUND REASONING TO MATURELY ADDRESS HIS WISDOM IN AN ORDERLY AND KNOWLEDGEABLE MANNER.

If Garrido proves anything, it's that Americans do crazy just as good, if not better, than the rest of the world. So, thank you, Mr. G, for helping chip away our illusions of national sanity.