Tila Tequila has mastered technological self-promotion. It helped her infect popular culture. Now, in the wake of her domestic violence drama with football player Shawn Merriman, she's back in the saddle to defend her name. But she really shouldn't.

Tequila obviously feels the need to defend herself from Merriman, who, through his lawyer, released a statement claiming he was trying to stop a booze-saturated Tequila from driving drunk:

At the time, I was concerned about her welfare given the intoxicated state she appeared to be in and I encouraged her to stay until safe transportation could be provided. We would all do our best to help a friend if we considered their actions to be detrimental to their personal safety.

See? That's how you do it: you create shadows of doubt by making yourself look like the do-gooder maligned by a drunken terror. Tequila should take note, for her brand of mudslinging is coming off a bit, well, unhinged.

Taking on Merriman's claims that she was drunk at the time of the incident, Tequila tweeted:

I am allergic to alcohol. It has been publicly known for years. That is how I got the name Tila 'Tequila' cuz the irony. I can't drink.

As happens in the high-speed age of technology, it wasn't long until that story was called into question, what with the owner of the nightclub where it went down described Tequila as "visibly intoxicated."

But no matter, because Tequila's not only defending herself: she's totally going on the offensive against Merriman, and posted this vague, possibly defamatory message: "Steroid use makes people act aggressive....known fact." She also linked to an article on the subject.

Honestly, Ms. Tequila, you need to learn when to step back from the keyboard and let someone else do the talking. You're not exactly the most respected woman in the news, so if you want to garner public favor, you should exercise some restraint. But what do we know? We've never had a reality show.