The Way We Live Now: In a Mad Maxian hellscape. Do you even realize how far we've fallen? Our political campaigns are staffed by hobos. Our police forces are stocked with vigilantes. And our "states" are just gussied-up liquor stores.

Remember when the title "campaign volunteer" was reserved for foolishly idealistic college students and elderly nursing home citizens with—quite literally—no other prospects for outdoor activities? That's the way it was, and it was appropriate. The real power brokers huddled in a small room somewhere and decided what was what, then they left to visit prostitutes while this army of "volunteers" did the grunt work of getting them elected.

No more, though. Now, people who once had actual, real jobs are engaged in "campaign volunteering." They were laid off and now they've fallen so far into the gutter that they're out wandering the street like common crackheads, handing out fliers. It's a god damn shame.

And who's going to stop them? It's not like our ghost towns generate enough tax revenue to pay for professional police forces any more. No, the safety of our municipalities is now in the hands of unchecked roving bands of citizen volunteer patrols—often staffed by the same unbalanced elderlies who've been pushed out of the campaign volunteer ranks by spry former investment bankers.

Shit, consider yourself lucky if the worst you have to deal with a dementia-addled senior citizen drunk on the power of their "Parking Enforcement" vest. At least they're sober. In New Hampshire, the state sells tax-free liquor. And? And nothing. The state of New Hampshire sells tax-free liquor and that's damn near all they do, and they are not afraid to roll out the citizen militia to battle Maine or Massachusetts or any other state that wants to stop them, New Hampshire, from making money off of cheap booze, which is the proper role of the government in these uncertain days and times.

And sure the Michigan state fair is dying because of budget cuts but don't try to shoehorn that into some "trend" piece. Ridiculous.