Do you know what it takes to get Slushie out of your hair? Patience, persistence, and Palmolive, that's what. We were soaking in two of those Ps, as the kids prepared for a frosty beverage right to the face.

The Great Slushie War of 2009 ended peacefully, with the oppressed accepting their colonization by the massive forces of popularity, but it didn't happen before everyone had to step up and Sue Motherfucking Sylvester did some stepping out. Music and mayhem, that's the way we like it, and that's just what we got last night. Also, we got a lot of ladies falling over in their wedding dresses, and Will Schuester showing off some freakin' awesome hip hop dance moves. Where did he learn those, the tough streets of Lima, Ohio? So, why are you just standing there bust a move!

"Bust a Move": This rap classic is about being decisive and taking action—even if that action is just to get you laid. While no one was blatantly chasing tail (well, except Puck, but that's what he does) there were plenty of people running over there without a second to lose.

All the popular kids in the school weren't happy about Finn and Quinn joining Glee and starting a little family, and they decided it was time to fight back, with overly sweet beverages from a convenience store that rhymes with Heaven-a-Bleven but apparently wouldn't pay for the sweet, sweet product placement. Yes, the happy couple were on the outs, and Finn was getting the worst of it, with his offensive line making offensive comments about his orientation now that he's joined the "Homo Explosion." One of them even quips that "Maybe a real man snuck in an [knocked up Quinn] for you." Oh, how right you are, little man (Team Quinn!).

Of course little Huckleberry Finn and his Huckleberry Hound weren't going to just let all the less popular kids take their throne, so they tried their best to become cool again. Oh, poor things. Don't they know that being cool means not trying.

Trying to take a stand for himself was Ken, who decided that it was time to do something about that pesky Will Schuesterfly that keeps getting all up in his ointment. By that ointment, we mean Emma, who has agreed to a secret marriage with Ken even though she brazenly flirts with Will right in front of his face. Sick of being second choice in both love and sports, Ken schedules a football practice during Glee rehearsal so that his players have to pick between and-a-one-two-three-four and hut-hut-hike. He has a feeling that they'll choose the pigskin, thus ruining Will's little club and exacting his revenge.

And it's sad, because this is the week that Mr. Shu decided to actually make Glee fun. He had the kids trying to come up with mashups to "Bust a Move," he wasn't making up any crazy schemes to try to get ahead, and we didn't have to deal with his crazy wife and her increasingly annoying fake pregnancy storyline.

"The Thong Song": I hate to admit it, but there is something brilliant about Sisqo's once-ubiquitous and thoroughly trashy anthem. It may be crass, but really it is a song about seduction, about convincing a nice, wholesome girl that it is OK to show off that tiny strip of fabric that is creeping up her crack.

Rachel didn't take that much convincing at all, once she got Puck into her bedroom. Finally, we get to see some more of our crush object, and by more I don't mean naked, I mean screen time. He even got some backstory and voiceover time last night. And he even plays guitar! Score! Well, Puck wants to date a Jew to please his mother and after a great dream about jolly Jewess Rachel, our little Ivanhoe goes jousting for her heart. And he wins, but only because she imagines she's making out with Finn when she's with him.

Will is also seducing Emma, whether he knows it or not. We don't think that he's doing it intentionally, but he likes the attention he gets from her, and it must be nice to have a real actual woman to care about rather than a shrill harpy like Terri. And Emma is certainly doing her dance of the seven veils, or at least the two wedding dresses, to get closer to Will. She knows that she's not going to be able to get him away from Terri, but maybe, just maybe—who knows. She's hopeless.

Sue Motherfucking Sylvester was easily seduced when Rod, the local news anchor who knows just how Sue Cs It, threw some attention her way. Not only that but he "sunk her battleship so hard." It's nice to see SMS give us something other than nasty bitch for a change. We might actually start to think that she's a real person!

"What a Girl Wants": All the girls here want something different, but they all need the same thing: to be loved.

Quinn not only needs Finn, but she needs the adoring stares of all the girls in school. Now that she is knocked up and kicked out the the Cheerios (didn't she look lost in civilian clothes?), it's going to be that much harder for her to get there. At least Babygay Kurt will love her for wearing the fierce Jackie O sunglasses (Team Quinn!).

Sue Motherfucking Sylvester needs someone to give her some positive attention. Anyone will do. She even mistakes smarmy Rod's leers for real affection when he's just trying to get his rod wet. Everyone spends so much time listening to her because she's an evil schemer that no one takes the time to find out about the real lady. Well, who would want to? We love her, but not in that way.

Rachel needs Finn to love her, which he does, but he is stuck with Quinn. Though she realizes this in the end, she thinks that a dalliance with Puck will be able to distract her. Like he said, we would certainly be distracted by his wonderful guns, but it's not enough for Rachel. It's the real thing or nothing.

Emma needs Will to love her, which he does, but he is stuck with Terri. Though she realizes this in the end, she thinks that settling down with Ken will be able to distract her. He has no guns, so we would not be distracted, but it's not enough for Emma. It's the real thing or nothing.

The Rachel/Finn/Quinn dynamic is a direct parallel to the Emma/Will/Terri dynamic. Almost boringly so. What are these two triangles telling us about each other when they're really just the same. We never paid that much attention in geometry (it probably had something to do with hunky math teacher Mr. Roy with his tight pants, mustache, and tennis-toned arms), but one or the other needs to rearrange in order to shed some light or insight onto the other. Proving symmetry is boring.

"Sweet Caroline": Caroline makes everything so sweet, and being with someone you love makes the good times even better. Just look at Sue Motherfucking Sylvester. She may not have a uterus, but she must have a clitoris, because one visit from Rob and she has that fresh glow you only find in pregnant women and meth addicts after they score. She is even nice to Will and Quinn. Sadly, that is all about to change.

Though they're doomed to failure, Rachel and Puck have a few sweet moments together, most noticeably when she's washing Slushie out of his hair in the bathroom. For a moment, he actually realizes all the pain that he's caused those without guns as nice as his. It's very sweet. It's also a sweet gesture when he sings this song for her and leaves the football team to be with her—well, except it's not really for her, it's for Quinn, but it seems really nice at the time.

While the football team is better when it's with Glee thanks to Babygay Kurt and his twinkletoes, at the end of the episode, in the great Slurpee Slushie pileup, we see that everyone here is making the good times even better for everyone else. Finn is better off now that he has a supportive force in his life, Will is better now that he is actually making this thing a winning enterprise, and the kids are all happy now that they have each other. The struggles of going through the Sue Sylvester detour and the Great Slushie War are only bringing them closer together. Not only do they all get out their rain gear together, but Babygay Kurt takes a Slushie to the face so that Finn can make himself popular. Oh, BG Kurt, you manage to make us cry every week.

But while there is all this togetherness, we'd still like to see a little bit more. What about an episode where the kids have a party and none of the adults are around? It would be nice to see how the group interacts when not on stage or in rehearsal. Also, we request a Mercedes and Babygay Kurt duet/production number because it will totally rule—and probably make us cry.

"I Could Have Dance All Night": Just like in My Fair Lady, this song is a celebration of something wonderful, but it is all an illusion, and it's when Eliza Doolittle wakes up from her illusion that she discovers who she truly is.

We hope that Emma wakes up from the delusion that her marriage with Ken is going to be anything but a disaster. It seems like she knows by the end of the episode that their "songs don't go together," but will she be tough enough to end it? And can we take a minute to talk about Emma in her two dresses. The Princess Di dress was crazy and ugly, but there was a beautiful shot of her walking up the empty hallway wearing it. It was gorgeous and melancholy in a Victorian way, like Miss Havisham walking down the aisle. The second dress is all Audrey Hepburn (hello, My Fair Lady) and Jackie O splendor. It's gorgeous, but it's tainted by her sham marriage.

Now that Emma has awoken, let's hope that Kenn can do the same thing and put his unrequited love away for good. It's a lesson that he should teach Puck, who gives up the ghost on bedding down with Rachel, but only after she dumps him. Still, he keeps dreaming that he can make the Quinn thing happen. Rachel figures out that it's Quinn he's really after and that he is nothing at all like her beloved Finn. In fact, he's a "bit of a jerk." Yes, we know, and that is part of what makes him so damn hot! Rachel shook off the illusion of happiness with Puck like so many purple globs of grape Slushie, but when will she do the same about Finn?

Sue is quickly disillusioned when she finds Rod getting it on with another woman. Though she may have some messed up morals, it appears that she does have a code that she lives by. We just can't believe that Sue is taking defeat so easily. At least she gets to take it out on Will by exerting her dominance over Glee and over Quinn by firing her from the Cheerios (Team Quinn!). It was almost worth it to hear her say, "I'm going to go to the animal shelter, get you a kitty cat, and then when you've fallen in love with that kitty cat, I'm going to steal into your house in the middle of the night, and punch you in the face." Sue Motherfucking Sylvester, you make it so hard to hate you. Oh, and speaking of illusions. Sue thinks she's straight?!

Will and Sue's Dance Number: This is just amazing and needs to be preserved for history.