"I feel guilty," Jon Gosselin laments to "America's Rabbi," Shmuley Boteach. Rabbi Shmuley talked to Jon on his bima about asking the world for forgiveness. We dispatched our Black Ops spy to the scene. One word: Wow. This is absurd.

Jon Gosselin is an incredible, oblivious ass, and this Rabbi is a ridiculous fameball crook.

Forget the fact that Gosselin—not Jewish—sought out a Magical Jew to help him sort out his problems, and forget the fact that this Rabbi, who was once a punchline on 30 Rock, who has nine children, who is a fame-mongering celebrity in his own right, embraced this with open arms. Just go to the game tape and you'll see.

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Gawker Black Ops video intern Sergio Hernandez, who went armed with $20 for admission and a FlipCam, described the scene as such:

Gosselin was 40 minutes late. A strange British woman who was inappropriately underdressed for a synagogue told us he was "stuck in traffic" and "delayed by the New York City marathon," and there was buzz that Gosselin had actually canceled his appearance. He did, eventually, show up to a stampede of paparazzi and entertainment cameras (by my count, at least Entertainment Tonight, Extra, TMZ, and FOX News were all there).

The event was, ostensibly, a discussion about the effect of fame and celebrity on religious and moral values. Jon opened by saying he wasn't a fameseeker and neither asked for nor invited his newfound celebrity (but nonetheless thanked the cameras in the room for showing up.)

Then Shmuley brought up Jon's divorce and basically tried to get him to blame his marital problems on fame and the pressure from TLC to draw in more ratings. Gosselin, for the most part, was pretty gracious about not villainizing Kate too much; he talked about going to therapy and learning about the mistakes he made during their marriage.

But Shmuley, who peppered the discussion with way too many smug, self-referential jokes, basically tried to excuse Jon's post-divorce, uh, behavior, with Kate's emasculation. Of course, you'd think if Shmuley and Gosselin hated all this attention so much, they might've, you know, not prostrated themselves in front of a few dozen cameras and charged $20 a person for it? But what would be the fun in losing out on that?

Especially interesting that Shmuley tried to paint TLC as the Bad People, because, you know, he's kinda been in bed with them before. And did they cancel Shalom In The Home? Well, it aired two seasons, and hasn't been on the air since 2007. So: you tell me. Again, a crook. Also: a misogynist, a snake-oil salesman, and a publicity whore. Come to think of it, that might be both of them. I'm not sure which behavior here begets the other, but whatever it is, wherever it comes from, this can't be good for The Kids, The Jews, and I don't know, Anybody Who's Ever Devoted Faith To Anything. This is really, really sad.