Hugh "Skip" McGee III has a rumored $25 million salary at Barclays, and he finds lefties and lesbians just sickening. In an epic letter to the board of his son's school, he implores the "silent majority" to strike back.

Obtained by Dealbreaker, the letter concerns McGee's son, John Edward, who attends Houston's Kinkaid School and wanted to wear cheerleader costumes with his football friends in a pep rally skit, but was barred from performing due to "negative gender stereotyping."

Entitled "The Tipping Point," McGee's letter begins with a single violin playing the world's saddest melody, Ballad of the Rich White Guy Who Takes Himself Entirely Too Seriously:

I am writing to you today with a heavy heart but also with a strong sense of obligation. I am sad that things have gotten to the point they have at Kinkaid but feel I must speak up on behalf of the "silent majority" before the situation gets to a point of no return. ... I submit to you that the values, methods, beliefs and actions of the current Administration are not in synch [sic] with those of the majority ... So this letter is about much more than a cancelled pep rally—it's about taking back control of the Kinkaid School. [emphasis mine]

What follows is a three-part, bullet-pointed explanation of the new white man's burden: getting subversives fired from your kid's prep school. His rationale includes "the parent whisper circuit," "a gay female coach," and the time a "leftist" teacher made his son cry.

In the first section, entitled "The Catalyst (see attachment 1—my email to Don North the afternoon of the pep rally)," McGee lays out the myriad wrongs associated with barring his son from performing a funny dance in a dress in front of the school. The unjust harshing of John Ed's mellow may have been part of an elaborate vendetta perpetrated by student president Andrew Edison, who "had previous issues with football players" and—J'accuse!—once distributed a video of himself in drag, too:

The real instigator, though, is "The Teacher," Ms. Leslie Lovett, who apparently led the anti-skit battle. Lovett "is regularly ranked among the least desired teachers (at least on the parent 'whisper circuit')." Her class is a "leftist invective" of anti-i-banking propaganda. Also, she hates football and doesn't know her place:

Last year, she commented to an 11th grade history class including my son
that somehow both Lehman and Barclays made a bunch of money on the Lehman
bankruptcy, and that all investment bankers were "sleazeballs" and dishonest. With tears in his eyes, John Ed called her out in front of the class and said his dad worked for Lehman Brothers and had been working around the clock trying to save 11,000 jobs and that she had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

...Last year, Ms. Lovett suggested that Homecoming should be at a girls' field hockey game rather than at a football game. She also complained that there were no women on the football team and poked her nose into the yearbook with nonsense issues that she has no business raising.

Look, Skip: I get that you're sad about Lehman. But when everyone knows you get a 7-figure paycheck every month, maybe don't complain about how emotionally difficult it was for you to steer 11,000 people's job losses, not to mention setting off global economic freefall and bankrupting entire nations. That said, the image of a Lehman exec's teenage son blinking back tears of confused rage, shame, and filial protectiveness makes for a somewhat fascinating tableau on the concept of "inheritance."

In his "Conclusion," McGee expands his disgust with Ms. Lovett to include all teachers who care about "diversity" and are total buzz kills:

What happened to our ability to laugh at ourselves and have fun? What happened to common sense and good judgment? Why is a married, heterosexual coach considered an oddity at Kinkaid? Why is a gay female coach telling high school girls on her team that she was disappointed in them for belonging to the spirit club (SOK) and that by doing so they are just pandering to the football team?

My personal favorite part of the letter is when McGee explains that the case of the party-pooped pep rally is actually the story of America:

The number of parents who have been talking about this particular pep rally is enormous. It is not because they care about football or pep rallies, it is because they have all encountered the same issues in some form or fashion. We have lost our way.

McGee closes by reminding everyone that his eldest daughter Katie "is now a senior at Princeton," so he knows a thing or two about kids and education. Today's battle, though, is not about Katie. Nor is it about John Ed. It's about the future: little Lizzy McGee, a wee eighth grader who walks into the light of tomorrow's daybreak with heavy feet, not because of lefty teachers and the P.C. police all up in her grill—but because her father, Hugh "Skip" McGee III, is really embarrassing

Read Skip's four-page masterpiece at Dealbreaker.
[DealBreaker] [The Daily Beast]