Only when you see the list of most popular baby names do you realize that America is not just a bunch of chik'n-consuming Wal-Mart zombies, but rather one big elegant catalogue of Victorian Body Shop models.

Aiden (and Ayden, Aidyn, Aden, and Aaden) and Madeline (and Madeleine, Maddelin, and Madalen) are the top baby names of 09. Followed closely by Matthew, Owen, Ethan, Jackson, Evan, Braden, Noah, Jack and Zachary, and Madison, Emma, Hannah, Olivia, Audrey, Isabella, Grace, Taylor and Emily.

Her prediction for the next decade is that there will be more Edwards and a lot more Bellas being born due to the success of the Twilight film franchise.

America: Dumb people, fancy names.

[Present company included!]