Accenture dumped Tiger quicker than his wife (allegedly) did when they found out he'd had sex with everyone he ever met (allegedly). Now they've revealed a new ad campaign; one that is unlikely to backfire in the same way.

Because it features literal animals, rather than sexual ones, according to a story in the Wall Street Journal today. The firm has decided to stick with their portentous, inspirational gym poster-esque slogans, probably because they appeal to the kind of corporate defaults who hire management consultants. Here's one of the new ads:

They're spending $40m to $50m, according to the Journal, and will roll out the new campaign in airports from today. Which means no more spotting of accidentally amusing Tiger Woods ads.

The article seems to be trying to win some kind of prize for stating the obvious via expert interviews:

Certainly Tiger was viewed to embody the values of Accenture. That proved not to be true," says Carl Anderson, CEO at Doremus, an Omnicom Group ad agency that specializes in business-to-business marketing. "Accenture needs to go in a completely different direction.

And also, when they focus-grouped the Tiger Woods ads after he was caught with his pants down 378 times, and they did some research:

The focus groups and others who evaluated the ads featuring Mr. Woods were distracted by the scandal, says Michael Krauss, president of Market Strategy Group, a privately held research firm that tested the ads for Accenture.

"The focus became what was going on with Tiger Woods, and not the intended messages," Mr. Krauss says. "It was very clear the campaign needed to be replaced.

No shit. Brilliant. Incisive. Maybe Michael Krauss, president of Market Strategy Group, a privately held blah blah blah or Carl Anderson, CEO at Doremus, an Omnicom Group ad agency blah blah blah should be the poster star for the next campaign.

[Pics via Accenture]