Please Let Us Dry-Hump Our Body Pillow in Peace
A Korean man named Lee Jin-gyu has fallen in love with and married a body pillow. And not one of those pillows that's all busted; this one's way soft. We should be outraged, but that pillow is too damn sexy.
If you find body pillows completely irresistible, perhaps you should stop reading, because the following paragraph might be too hot for you.
OK. So this is truly a life-imitates-art-imitates-life situation right here. Random people, mostly east Asian, happen to have fetishes with their (usually anime) body pillows. It's been going on for a while, but doesn't get too much mainstream attention stateside; we all just shrug it off because if Japanese people buy school girl underwear in vending machines, making out with a body pillow is just natural, so WHATEVER. The western world doesn't really take notice. But then, 30 Rock has an episode where James Franco is totally in love with this babe of a pillow, and America's collective mind was blown. Is this acceptable? Is Angelina Jolie going to adopt a pillow? Should I get a pillow (or two?) of my own? Should I write to my local Congressman about how America is going to a very plush hell? Body pillows polarize a nation.
And now that this Korean kid is blowing up the internets as of late with his own soft and lovable girlfriend, we have come to the precipice of a new era. Will making out with body pillows become socially acceptable? Let's hope so! At least pillows don't tell you to take out the trash! BOOM!