A sex toy dealer invites you to play with fire, slides and a stripper pole in his loft… for $15. A Burning Man version of Mike's Apartment, Dmitri's Apartment has attracted "partygoers clad in spikes and rubber." And the cops.

A report in the Daily News says that 32-year-old Dmitri Dimoulakis has incurred the wrath of his Tribeca neighbors, and now the courts, for hosting ragers like "Phat Tuesday" in a $1.5 million condo.

They get wild, with "aerial performances from this rigging up here on the ceiling." And they get ugly: "records show cops also were called to the building at 4:41 a.m. on Jan. 13 to help a vomiting man who ended up at St. Vincent's Hospital."

Resident fire healer Madame Burnz's Facebook page has pictures of men's bare asses being "healed" by her flaming wand, made of "2" Kevlar wicks". Part of her mission statement: "Whether it be physical, emotional, mental, or sexual, I, Madame Burnz, the masseuse am able to channel the direction of the massage." Sadly, her blog, a "chronology of the fire massage", has been taken down.