LOST continues to bring up new questions, refusing to answer the queries everyone is dying to have answered. Last night's episode held a lot of promise without delivery. Bothered? Don't be. The entire episode has been reworked after the jump!

LOST just keeps getting more and more complicated. Even last night's episode, which answered nothing, reintroduced us to the still-mysterious Charles Widmore and a whole new gang of people. How many tribes/gangs/alliances do we need? It's the final season! This is how last night's episode should have gone::

LOST Season 6, Episode 8 "Recon"

The first scene opens with John Locke and Sawyer looking out over the ocean.


Sawyer
 When we going home, John? You said you were gonna get us off this rock!

John Locke
 Jimmy, babe. I got the liquor. I finally found Jacob's secret stash. We leave tonight, yo! It was the reason, the reason you're here. To help me find the booze and then leave in bromantic comedy fashion with a bald man that's really the smoky black spirit of love, man.

Locke holds his middle and index fingers up, communicating the idea of "Peace," to Sawyer.

Sawyer (aggressively)
Are you telling me you brought me here, killed the love of my life, broke my sanity so you could find alcohol?

Locke
 I didn't bring you here, baby! But I came here voluntarily. Why do you think I want to get off of this island, after trying so hard to get here?! A treasure map, J-Slice! I found old school pirate booty, along with a ton of stowed away coconut rum. I came to this island, James, 'cause I wanna cruise home in style. We make Nepal by tomorrow, pick up some Eurotrash honies that will do whatever you ask for enough coin. I can't keep this thing up with Claire the nutcase, she's dryer than an ant-eaters nose. Or is it an ant-eaters mouth?

Sawyer
 Damn Locke...

John Locke
 Call me The Smoke Thing.

Sawyer
 Damn Smoke Thing...

John Locke
 No... no... actually, call me Big Poppa.

Sawyer
 Damn Big Papa...

John Locke
 Yeah that's right.

Sawyer and Locke both smile to each other as if they are having the same thought, but then Locke gets deadly serious and grabs Sawyer by the shoulders


John Locke
 But here's the thing, right? Dead Locke's old college roommate, Charlie Whidmore fell into some money, and now he has this submarine! He called me on Dead Locke's Nokia and was all "You screwed my ex-wife, that's totally against the bro code" and I have no idea what he's talking about, because that's total bullshit. Guy's got a screw loose, cause I wouldn't touch his big ass wife with your dick.

Sawyer
 Woah, easy persheezy Big Papa, what're you askin' me here?

John Locke
 Just, he and his Red October are parked across the way, on that mini-island you hooked up with Kate on inside of Ben Linus' animal cage. If you could go play some smoove Sawyer mind games on Widmore's ass, I'll give you first pick of high class tail once we hit Nepal.

Sawyer
 As long as you don't expect me to go any farther than maybe a foot message looks like we got ourselves a deal.

Scene II: (FINE AS IS):

Scene III: Because the script thus far only accounts for about six minutes of run-time the rest of the episode is Charles Widmore's Flash-Sideways. In the final shooting script they didn't even allot time for it, so months of footage were tossed to the cutting room floor. Don't worry, here it is, the conclusion of LOST's most epic deleted scene:



END