The male brain's "sexual pursuit area" is 2.5x larger than a female's. CNN Special Correspondent Dr. Louann Brizendine uses metaphors like "if testosterone were beer," and "men look at attractive women the way we look at pretty butterflies," to explain.

Welcome to your daily play-by-play from the trenches of the Battle of the Genders. Today, the accomplished female author of The Female Brain and The Male Brain takes decades of detailed scientific study and turns it into a metaphor about girls cooing at jewel-toned insects while men burp and grab at female scientists' rear ends. Brizendine opens her treatise to hard-wired gender differences with counterintuition:

Our brains are mostly alike. We are the same species, after all.

Then, she comforts us by quantifying something that we already knew:

Perhaps the biggest difference between the male and female brain is that men have a sexual pursuit area that is 2.5 times larger than the one in the female brain.

Next: Boozy horny 9-year-olds.

If testosterone were beer, a 9-year-old boy would be getting the equivalent of a cup a day. But a 15-year-old would be getting the equivalent of nearly two gallons a day. This fuels their sexual engines and makes it impossible for them to stop thinking about female body parts and sex.

And finally, exegesis on the fabled "man trance," where we learn that Men : Boobs :: Women : Butterflies.

All that testosterone drives the "Man Trance"—that glazed-eye look a man gets when he sees breasts. As a woman who was among the ranks of the early feminists, I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't. Their visual brain circuits are always on the lookout for fertile mates. Whether or not they intend to pursue a visual enticement, they have to check out the goods.

To a man, this is the most natural response in the world, so he's dismayed by how betrayed his wife or girlfriend feels when she sees him eyeing another woman. Men look at attractive women the way we look at pretty butterflies. They catch the male brain's attention for a second, but then they flit out of his mind. Five minutes later, while we're still fuming, he's deciding whether he wants ribs or chicken for dinner. He asks us, "What's wrong?" We say, "Nothing." He shrugs and turns on the TV. We smolder and fear that he'll leave us for another woman.

As the battle rages on, we learn about the science behind the "doting daddy brain," "grumpy old men," and the "lonely hearts club." Brizendine ends with a missive of peace:

The best advice I have for women is make peace with the male brain. Let men be men.

Accomplished female scientist waves white flag of surrender. Boob-drunk male brain cheers: Beer! Rah-rah! Heidi, nipple, meat.

—fin.—

[CNN] [Pic via Getty]