Today at Gawker.TV, Rod Blagojevich can't work a computer, Ned Flanders' tips on getting your kids into Easter, Food Revolution's revolting developments about our country's health problems, and Dan Rather and Tila Tequlia co-host a morning show together.

Rod Blagojevich Cannot Use A Computer
Rod Blagojevich may not think so, but he was a bad governor. Luckily, he is entirely self-aware when it comes to how badly he is in need of a computer tutorial. Lesson one? Turning the darn thing on.

Cleveland Imagines a Morning Show Where Dan Rather and Tila Tequlia Are Co-Hosts
Tila Tequila and Dan Rather co-hosting a morning show called Rather Early? This is probably the last thing that anyone would want to tune into first thing in the morning, but then again Kathie Lee and Hoda exist, so who knows?

Jamie Oliver Confirms American Children are Doomed to be Fat and Gross
Hey, American children, stop embarrassing American adults! Jamie Oliver, a man who comes from a country that calls bland, gray blobs of food "dinner," is showing the world that not only do American children eat horribly, they like it.

Ned Flanders Will Make Your Fark-ing Kids Digg Religion
On Easter and Passover, children everywhere will be sat down at dinner tables and taught all about the wonders of their faiths. But how do you really get them to pay attention? According to The Simpsons, random computer words.

How Jimmy Fallon Totally Played Kathie Lee and Hoda
Last week Jimmy Fallon crashed a segment about sex on the 4th hour of Today, and like a true gentleman he sent the ladies a note afterwards. The problem? Inside he'd written "You're my favorite." In both of their cards.