Rupert Murdoch and Wendi Deng Want Their Children to Be Just Like Jesus, But Richer

32.92K

John Cook

03/31/10 05:01PM

Filed to: Religion

When Rupert Murdoch commits his progeny to Christ, he doesn't fool around: Chloe and Grace, his daughters with third wife Wendi Deng, were recently baptized in the river Jordan, at the very spot Jesus is said to have been baptized.

Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman served as the kids' godparents, and Ivanka Trump was in attendance. Fancy, no? We wonder where James, Murdoch's son by his second wife and the chief aspirant to his throne, was anointed. Probably a bathtub somewhere. He'd better hurry up and take over at News Corp., because these Deng girls are clearly comers.

We know next to nothing about the various Christian traditions concerning baptismal ceremonies, but it strikes us as odd that Chloe and Grace, six and eight years old respectively, are undergoing the procedure now. Aren't children generally baptized at birth or at some sort of confirmation ceremony at the onset of adolescence? Or has some sort of religious fervor suddenly swept the Murdoch-Deng household?

If so, it's an ecumenical one, because the glorious proceedings were quickly soiled by a three-day tour of Jordan conducted by Queen Rania, a known follower of Islam, which, as any viewer of Murdoch's Fox News Channel knows, is a devil cult favored by Barack Hussein Obama.

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ms_priestypants John Cook 03/31/10 05:19PM

Resident baptism expert right here.

The age is odd since it is usually close to birth or around 12-14, when the child can willingly commit him or herself to Christ. I feel like this is stating the obvious, but just in case: no one knows where Jesus was baptized, though for enough money someone could really try to convince you it was X or Y or Z.

The timing of this makes me think there was some sort of recent religious experience of the non-mainline kind in the Deng Murdoch family, since the traditional days for baptism don't line up with this timeframe (e.g. last one was in January and next one is this Saturday).

Tremonius ms_priestypants 03/31/10 05:35PM

@ghiagirl: Traditional days for baptism in the Baptist church were whenever they could gather two or three together on a Sunday night. And remember Pope Ratso was heavy into the early baptism scene so that the pederast priests would have pure innocence to work on.

Superstition removes class distinction like Marx never could, binding the reasonably bright and the super dim in one simple fog of folly.

ms_priestypants Tremonius 03/31/10 08:05PM

@Tremonius: Bpatists aren't a mainline protestant denomination, so my point stands. And as for the rest of that, let's just agree to disagree.

Lucky ms_priestypants 03/31/10 08:07PM

@ghiagirl: My grandmother is Baptist (devout, whacko homophobe, Fox News-watching Baptist, but I'll save those stories for another day), and told me that Baptists generally allow even children to be baptized if they are able to say with some believability that they want to accept Christ. However, if later in life they feel that they didn't truly or fully understand the commitment at the time that they were originally baptized, they may opt to go through it again.

ms_priestypants Lucky 03/31/10 08:50PM

@Lucky: This is a gross oversimplification, but what made Baptists "baptists", rather than Methodists or Presbyterians or Episcopalians, was that they postponed the sacrament of baptism until the person could make an informed choice to request it, rather than having it done on his or her behalf as an infant. This is called adult baptism even though the people involved aren't 18, they are adults in the sense that they are able to speak for themselves, much like a Jewish child goes through ritual adulthood at 13 or 14- it usually is timed more to puberty as a marker of adulthood. So basically, what some churches do at first communion/confirmation, i.e. becoming a full member of the church with all rights and responsibilities, Baptists do with baptism. And yes they are doing it younger and younger these days, and some do multiple baptisms, again things that distinguish the Baptists churches from the mainline protestant denominations, where if it was done in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, it is valid.

Uncle_Billy_Slumming John Cook 03/31/10 05:31PM

Hate that he looks so much like Rabin.

Pixlmonkey Uncle_Billy_Slumming 04/01/10 01:12AM

@Uncle_Billy_Slumming: why hate it?

Uncle_Billy_Slumming Pixlmonkey 04/01/10 01:28AM

Loved Rabin, hate that such an evildoer/propagandist looks a lot like him.

Pixlmonkey Uncle_Billy_Slumming 04/01/10 01:40AM

@Uncle_Billy_Slumming: Rabin actually contributed to humanity's progress, Murdoch only ever try to slow it down. He looks nothing like Yitzhak either.

Lysergic Asset John Cook 03/31/10 05:29PM

Those girls are far better looking than either of their (scary and nightmarishly terrifying, respectively) parents.

Also: Wendy must have a copy of the will taped to the headboard of their bed.

East and West Lysergic Asset 03/31/10 06:12PM

@Lysergic Asset: More like framed and nailed. That shit ain't going nowhere.

Lysergic Asset East and West 03/31/10 06:17PM

@EastandWest: HA!

There is no amount of money for which I would let him stick it in me. Eww.

Scratch (ex Jenrobe) John Cook 04/01/10 07:02AM

The only thing odd about this is that it wasn't presided over by Our Lady of Australia, Cate Blanchett, who fulfils all our saint/fairy godmother/Conscience Of A Nation roles these days. She was probably off adapting the Ring Cycle for the Sydney Theatre Companies 2011 season.

jeanbean Scratch (ex Jenrobe) 04/02/10 05:24PM

@jenrobe: I assume you mean the Lord of the Ring Cycle. Suck it, Wagner.

Scratch (ex Jenrobe) jeanbean 04/02/10 10:02PM

@jeanbean: Zing! You win.