Do Your Hobbies Make You Gay?
Lots of people flipped out over the Wall Street Journal's decision to run a photo of Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan playing softball. Were they trying to imply she's a lesbian? Every extracurricular activity comes with a stereotype.
Earlier this week, we pointed out that softball=lesbian. We weren't suggesting that every woman who occasionally picks up a bat and an over-sized round ball is the sort of woman who has an irresistible appetite for vagina. It's just a stereotype. But editors at the Wall Street Journal were well aware of that when they ran the photo. If they'd printed a picture of David Souter at a Liza Minnelli concert, well, that would probably mean they were calling him a big old queen. That's the way these things work.
Every activity comes with assumptions. Here are a few activities that may—but occasionally may not!—tell you something about what someone does in the bedroom:
Figure skating: Gay
Hockey: Straight
Knitting: Straight
Macrame: Gay
Attending a Kathy Griffin show: Gay
Attending a Dane Cook show: Straight (and tasteless)
Renovating your kitchen: Straight
Hanging out at Home Depot: Lesbian
Teabagging (in a strip club): Gay
Teabagging (on the street in a George Washington costume): Old, white conservative asshole
Shoe shopping with the gals: Straight
Birkenstock shopping with the gals: Lesbian
Cycling: Straight
Rollerblading: Gay
Star Wars fanatic: Straight
Dancing with the Stars fanatic: Gay (or an old white lady)
Going to a Lady Gaga concert with your friends: Gay
Going to a Lady Gaga concert with your girlfriend: Gay (you just don't know it yet)
Watching Sports Center: Straight
Watching Project Runway: Gay
Field Hockey: Lesbian
Lacrosse: Entitled upper-middle-class white asshole
Loving NASCAR: Straight (and probably a redneck)
Loving Jeff Gordon: Gay
Making out with a member of the same sex if you're a guy: Gay
Making out with a member of the same sex if you're a girl: Straight (and slutty)
Joining the military reserves: Straight (if you're a man)
Joining the military reserves: Lesbian (if you're a woman)
Mowing the lawn: Straight
Letting your garden grow: Lesbian
Traveling: Straight
Traveling with a companion: Gay
Doing the crossword puzzle: Completely neutral
Doing Sudoku: Totally gay
