How to Be Cool at the G-20: An Illustrated Guide
The G-20 is when the world's economic leaders meet to talk trade. It's also prom to the international protest set. Anarchists, hippies, gutter punks: Everyone's invited, and it's your big chance to get photographed and get laid change the world.
Your guide to looking good at protest prom. All images via Getty.
DO wear a sassy scarf. It'll thwart the tear gas and keep your identity partially obscured, in case your picture ends up in the newspaper and mom gets upset.
DON'T carry a bag. All the cool kids carry their stuff in clear plastic bags, which is what they put your shit in when they arrest you and take away your possessions.
DO consider what your butt looks like in those jeans, and whether you've chosen a palette that to flatter the bright white of ziptie handcuffs.
DON'T choose a shirt with a lame slogan. It's too calamitous for anyone to hear the four-letter epithets you're screaming in your dying native Peruvian language of choice. G-20 protesters, like Playboy bunnies, make their statements with their chests.
DO consider disguising yourself as a clown. It's satirical, fun, and useful in case you go to a children's birthday after.
DO choose your hand symbol wisely. Peace sign says "Love, not war." Fist says "I'm serious about the issues." Middle finger says "YEEEAHHHH PROTEST BABY!" Obviously, middle finger is the correct choice.