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Oh what a festive Project Runway! Tim Gunn took everyone to a party store and then he laughed and giggled and cried. If only everyone could be warmed by Grampa Gunn's guffaw. Too bad they all have dark, dark souls.

Yes, Grampa Gunn took everyone to Party Glitter, a party store that sounds like it got its name from a reality TV show recap, but is actually a real thing. The contestants had to buy everything there to make a dress, and this time around Gramps even warned everyone to stay away from "tablecloths and wrapping paper" and other things that are similar to fabric because the judges don't like them. So servicey. Of course, some did better than others, which leads us to:

Things We Hated:

  • Gretchen: She won the first two challenges and now she thinks her shit don't stink. God, she is such a Vogue girl and now she's running around telling everyone what to do and what she thinks is right like she's some sort of fashion goddess. Well, then why are you a contestant and not a judge? Hm, Gretchen? And, yes, her clothes are great, which makes us hate her even more because we're going to be stuck with her. But still, I feel like she's not giving us something we can't find in a million other places. She's so generic downtown hipster that I don't think she has a really unique point of view. And what's worse is that Nina Garcia Fashion Director of Marie Claire Magazine is in love with her. That means she's this season's Mila and she's making the finals no matter what.
  • Casanova: I'm not going to fault him for not having the best grasp of the English language (though it is annoying), but he seems to have such an inflated sense of himself that it really makes me want to slap him around. And it's not in that Santino Rice kind of way where sometimes he actually does something exciting. No, Casanova just sucks, but then he thinks that he's too good to make a dress out of party favors. Does he know what show he even signed up for? Did he think this wasn't going to happen? This guy can't be gone soon enough.
  • Queen Tangerine Minus the Tangerine: Is it just me or is Michael Kors, the Queen of all the Tangerines, looking less orange than before?
  • The Styling: It so nice that we don't have to think about the models anymore, so why is everyone talking about their "styling" this season. Hair and makeup have never played a big part in the competition (unless it was really egregious) so why do we care now? Is Tresemmé making demands?
  • Sarah Lost: Sarah's dress was not amazing, but it wasn't horrible Michael D's ill-fitting metal umbrella or Ivy's puffy dress that looked like all the crumpled tissues under a teenager's bed or Kristin's streamer that got caught in a fan. Those were all much worse and they weren't even in the bottom. And Sara seemed so nice and was pretty to look at. She could have been the third actress to play Becky on Roseanne.
  • Casanova's Cartwheel: Sorry, but you don't have to speak English to know about manners. This guy celebrates not getting sent home by doing a fucking cartwheel off the runway. Hello, mister, you have nothing to celebrate. The judges just told you that your dress was the second worse one of the week. Also, your fallen comrade is still standing right there watching her dreams of fashion victory be dashed. Well, we should have known based on your clothes that you have no tact.

Things We Loved:

  • Tim's Wooly Balls: Just watch the damn clip, already.
  • The C Stands for Cunty: Yes, Michael C is cunty. He is the go-to gay for bitchy comments this season and that couldn't make us happier. And did you see his face when AJ was cussing out Gretchen? He was just a scintilla away from cracking up with laughter. Our new favorite.
  • The Makeup Daddy: Say what you will about the styling (and I will!), but I'm glad we're spending more time in the Gloryhole Paris Makeup Room because the leader of it appears to be this hot muscle daddy with a handlebar mustache who looks about five minutes from taking off his T-shirt, putting on a harness, and running over to the Eagle. Meow!
  • Helping Andy: Way for Peach and that Blond Girl Who Should Have Gone Home to help Andy out. I love it when the contestants have hearts, especially when making something as beautiful as Andy's creation.
  • Betsey Johnson: I have a feeling that every morning Betsey Johnson wakes up, puts a lollipop in LSD and then licks the whole thing for hours. That is just how she judged this competition, with wild, multi-colored insanity.
  • Instant Classics: "She looks like a transvestite flamenco dancer at a funeral." What makes it funny, Queen Not-So-Tangerine, is because it's true.

So in the end Sarah went home for her sad gray and teal palm tree thing that looked like a stewardess outfit from a '60s sci-fi movie. As we said above, Casanova probably should have gotten the axe for his tranny flamenco dancer at a funeral (had to say it twice!) concoction.

Andy justifiably won for his gorgeous black ribbon dress that is one of those outfits that you will remember for the rest of PR history. Really, it was a thing of beauty. We were glad to see Valerie up there with him for her My Fair Lady napkin dress, but Gretchen should have been in the back with the rest of the people who just passed. What, no love for Michael C's gorgeous gown that looked like a Solo Cup come to life? No commendation for Christopher's gold napkin ensemble with just the right amount of glitter? Nothing for Peach or Mondo and their studies in how to use pink for crazy good taste? For shame. For shame! We cry, and not because we're happy like Grampa Gunn, but because we're sad that it looks like Gretchen is just going to run away with this whole thing, and we still have months to go!