Fat, Lazy Americans Will Soon Have Shoes That Tie Themselves 5.39K Brian Moylan 08/30/10 04:10PM Filed to: The Future The Future Nike Self-tying shoes Fat People Shoes shutterstock Fb tweet Footwear innovator Nike has seen the future, and it is a world where everyone is so fat, they can't tie their own laces. They've filed a patent for self-tying sneakers. Did they miss the invention of Velcro?