Shocking Revelation: There Is Another Olsen Sister
It's true. Yoda has looked up to the heavens and declared this true. Also today: up-and-comer Anthony Mackie lands another role, a promising movie stalls out, Tom Cruise gets a sexy sidekick for his next Mission, and Twilight news.
Hurt Locker star and Julliard grad Anthony Mackie has signed on to Man on a Ledge, a cop thriller about a... man on a ledge. A cop on a ledge, to be specific! Sam Worthington will star. I guess as the cop? It's about the cop and the lady psychologist who tries to talk him down. So is Mackie playing the lady? Is he playing the ledge? Oh, there's a better title for this movie! The Lady and the Ledge. Wrap that shit up as a romantic thriller, and you got boyfriends and their girlfriends in those movie seats. It's like how they should release a movie called Nicholas Sparks' Doom Fuck. It'd be a Nicholas Sparks movie, sure, but what guy wouldn't want to see a movie called Doom Fuck? You'd be half-crazy to not want to see that movie! It's also like how Tyler Perry should release Tyler Perry Presents: Paul Rudd. White people would totally see that movie! There would be harmony everywhere. [Variety]
Oh here's some sexy news. Paula Patton, who played the encouraging lesbian teacher in Precious, has officially joined the cast of Mission Impossible 4: The Secret of Bear Mountain. She'll be playing a young operative working with Cruise and his new life partner, Jeremy Renner. Presumably Patton would stay on with this franchise if it does well, as the fourth picture is being treated as a reboot of the whole thing. It's actually not even going to be called Mission: Impossible 4. There's no official title yet. So what might they call it? Just Mission: Impossible again? That seems silly. Since cartoon director Brad Bird is directing it, maybe they will try to appeal to kids? Mission: Funpossible. Maybe they will focus on the sexy new lady. Patton Leather. Or maybe it's going to be some gritty, low-budge porn. Cruise's Missile. What do you think? [Deadline]
An Australian actress named Jessica McNamee has been cast as Rachel McAdams' sister in The Vow, that movie about the car accident amnesia lady and the devoted husband (animate pencil eraser Channing Tatum) who nurses her back to health. So, good for her. And, heh, "McNamee". I find that funny. "What's that book you're writing?" "It's a book of baby names, actually." "Ohhh well la di da, Mrs. McNamee." On Grey's Anatomy there's a cute new doctor named Harrison Shane Welter-Waxman-Wright and Meredith and the ghost of Katherine Heigl call him "Dr. McNamee", because of all his names. So. Those are jokes made on Gawker.com today. McNamee jokes. Happy hurricane. [THR]
WHAAA???? There's another Olsen???? Apparently there is! Her name is Elizabeth Olsen and she is the younger sister of famous gremlin twins Kate & Mary-Ashley. Isn't that crazy?? And she's an actress now, it would seem. She's just been cast alongside John Hawkes (workin' like a fool these days, he is), Sarah Paulson, Brady Corbet, and Hugh Dancy in an indie called Martha Marcy May Marlene, about a girl who escapes a cult and goes to live with her uncle. Sounds kind of interesting. Not as interesting as the sheer fact of this mysterious and shadowy Olsen sister, though. I've written several biographies of the scarecrow twins, and I had no idea there was another, lurking in the dark recesses of their twin mansions. Sure, she's not a triplet or whatever, but still. She exists, and she's acting. She's in another movie, that Catherine Keener/Jane Fonda Peace, Love, & Misunderstanding thing. Heavens above isn't the world strange sometimes. [The Wrap]
Oh noes. Amazing genius Alfonso Cuaron's next film Gravity, about a woman stranded alone in a space station, may be in jeopardy because stupid old Angelina Jolie has passed on it, a second time. Because the movie is mostly one lady (Robert Downey Jr. dies in the beginning, spoiler) and it has a big ($80M) budget, Warner Bros. is worried about finding a bankable-enough actress to carry it. Apparently they tested: "Sandra Bullock and Natalie Portman (word around town is the studio's intrigued with both), Naomi Watts, Marion Cotillard, Carey Mulligan, Scarlett Johansson, Sienna Miller, Abbie Cornish, Rebecca Hall, Olivia Wilde, Blake Lively". Ha, what? Only like... one of those people is bankable, and it's the first one. Sandra Bullock in a Cuaron movie? That could be very interesting! I just want him to make movies forever, all the time, don't you? What's your deal, Angelmina? Why you gotta ruin everything? [Deadline]
Interesting. Rami Malek, who is beguilingly attractive in a very strange way, has joined the cast of the final installment of Stephenie Meyers' vampire slash-fiction epic, Breakin': Dawn, about vampire breakdancers who have to stop breakdancing because dawn is coming. Then everyone says Mormon prayers and fastens their magic underpants and goes to bed. Malek, who was recently on The Pacific and played a weird gay character on the excruciatingly bad (but oddly compelling) sitcom The War at Home (so much war, Rami!), will play an Egyptian sexvampyr who stands up next to (very close to) Edvard Cullven IX in the battle against Dakota Fanning and her band of gay acrobats. Sounds exciting! But not as exciting as the climax, when Bella finally achieves orgasm and the entire valley of Armageddon is blown to smithereens and all that's left is a naked wereboy showering and Stephenie Meyer, as herself, sauntering up to him in an ankle-length dress. Sweet and sexy. [EW]