Hot New Trend Alert: Guns in Bars
Are you familiar with the patriotic new trend of carrying your favorite gun to your local bar? Four states now have laws that explicitly allow people to carry loaded firearms in establishments that serve alcohol. Can you guess which ones?
Tennessee, Arizona, Georgia and Virginia have all enacted laws giving a big "thumbs up" to bringing loaded guns in bars! (They are also now all on my list of "states in which you should never enter a bar.") And it's not just those four that have hopped on the "drinking and shooting" bandwagon—according to The New York Times, some 20 states "[appear] by default to allow those with permits to bring guns into establishments that serve alcohol," including New York, New Jersey and Massachusetts.
I know what you're thinking: There's no way that's safe! Don't worry, though—you're only allowed to carry your piece of death-machinery inside the legal-inebriation center as long as you're not getting inebriated. So what if some guy in Virginia shot himself in the leg with his own gun while drinking a beer in a bar? There are murderers out there!
"Folks were being robbed, assaulted - it was becoming an issue of personal safety," said [Tennessee State Representative Curry] Todd, who added that the National Rifle Association had aided his legislative efforts. "The police aren't going to be able to protect you. They're going to be checking out the crime scene after you and your family's been shot or injured or assaulted or raped."
Yes, allowing people to hold onto their guns will surely solve the widespread problem of family-rape in Tennessee bars! It'll be just like "The Wild West," which, if I'm remembering my history correctly, was a time of unparalleled peace and lawfulness when no one died from being shot by drunk people.