In your ignominious Thursday media column: Conrad Black has big plans, new hires at Fast Company, Conde Nast's memo-writing abilities are woefully inadequate, and the wee New York Times Co. lives in a tiny dollhouse.

  • Oh good, archetypal evil plutocratic press baron Conrad Black says he'd consider returning to a career in the media. Now that he's out of prison, you know. He also thinks newspapers are a bargain now! This can only play out exactly as we'd all imagine.
  • Conde Nast CEO Charles Townsend sent out an inspirational internal memo notable for its high corporate doublespeak quotient. There's "setting in motion a structural realignment of the organization"! There's "commitment to consumer centricity"! And "metrics-based tracking and measurement"! I bet if Conde Nast tried really hard, they could find one person in their company who can write decently.
  • Fast Company has hired a new creative director and a new photography director, and scooped up two new editors as well. They really are fast! Haha! I'm just kidding, just playing around. I don't think they're sluts. Full details here.
  • Fun fact: the New York Times Co. is now the smallest company in the S&P 500, with a market cap of just $1.1 billion. Pinch Sulzberger is celebrating with a crumb of bread and whole thimble full of wine.

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