When we heard that the Carnival Splendor Cruise Ship was stranded in the Pacific Ocean, we had to wonder how much worse being on a disabled cruise ship was than just being on a regular cruise ship. A lot, apparently!

The Carnival Splendor was left drifting off the coast of Mexico for three days after a fire in the ship's engine room on Monday disabled the boat. Today, they reached land, finally, and had some harrowing tales to tell. Passenger Marquis Horace said to CNN:

"It was absolutely deplorable," Horace said. At one point, the ship ran out of food, he said, and "they started making mayo sandwiches."

"I expected a really nice time and it was like Gilligan's Island or something," he said.

He said he ate a lot of bananas and dry cereal, but at one point didn't want to eat anymore because the smell of overflowing toilets, spoiled food and rotten milk was overwhelming.

At this point, the ghost of some 18th-century mariner appeared while Horace was talking to the CNN interviewer, clocked him in the head with a chunk of maggot-filled hardtack, and ran off muttering to himself: "Oh, ye poor soul... you were forced to eat mayonnaise sandwiches were ye? I killed a man for a mayonnaise sandwich after we ran outta lard cakes in the West Indies. Curses!"

[Image via Getty]