Here's an "announcement trailer" for the third Transformers movie, called Dark of the Moon. Obviously these films are intriguing, nuanced mysteries, as evidenced by this two-minute bit of historical fiction. The moon landing! Conspiracy! Shiny metal robot monsters.

Have these movies ever been remotely good? Like, not good good, but entertaining good? I love action movies and big summer blockbuster bullshit, but the past two of these have just been the worst combination of cheesiness, crudeness, vague racism, and incoherence. I don't know why people would want to see a third installment of that! I mean, do people realize that Shia LaBeouf is in these movies? Shia LaBeouf???? And then you're getting all this serious music (they seem to be riffing on the current trend of bwammmmp! loud music, as featured in Inception and the Tron trailer) for Shia LaBeouf and robot monsters? No. Enn. Oh. It's so silly! But not in a good way. Never in a good way. Michael Bay should just commit to making really pretty-looking car commercials and just get outta the movie biz. Final answer. Tribe has spoken. Take care of yourselves, and each other.