Are you one of those people who thinks Seattle is the most boring city in the U.S.? How wrong you are! Witness: A tale of semi-incestuous group sex, scooters, and murderous cousins—all in a Seattle carport.

According to SeattleCrime.com, which pieced together the thrilling story from a blotter report, the action took place in the carport of an apartment building in Seattle (pictured above thanks to Capitol Hill Seattle), where one of the tenants was attempting to park his car around 7:15 p.m.:

[H]e saw two half-naked women and a half-naked man in the carport next to his apartment.

The half-naked man was having sex with one of the women, while the other female was "naked and messing with the victim's scooter."

The man apparently voiced some kind of objection to the activities, at which point the non-scooter-riding woman "got angry," detached an ashtray from the wall, and threw it at her interlocutor, telling him that "she was going to have her cousin shoot him."

The woman on the scooter, who, it comes out in the police report, is the sister of the angry woman, apologized for her sister's actions. The three carport trespassers got dressed and left.

Capitol Hill Seattle was kind enough to procure a photograph (above) of the likely carport. It does look rather romantic, doesn't it?

[SeattleCrime.com; image via CHS]