To succeed in America, you must get a college degree. To get a college degree, you must go into a soul-crushing amount of debt. And what do you get for all that money? Not learning. College kids don't learn stuff.

A new book called Academically Adrift analyzed surveys and college transcripts for more than 2,000 U.S. college students. Surprise: they are dumb.

45 percent of students "did not demonstrate any significant improvement in learning" during the first two years of college.
36 percent of students "did not demonstrate any significant improvement in learning" over four years of college.

So almost half of students have learned nothing by the time they're halfway through college. And more than a third of students have learned nothing by the time they (should) have graduated from college. Furthermore, the average GPA of students in this study was 3.2. Quite good marks, considering they learned little to nothing!

The students who majored in business, education, and social work learned the least of all. So there's something you can at least toss back in your stupid I-banker friend's face when he points out that you're an unemployed philosophy major.

[Inside Higher Ed, USAT. Photo via]