The deserving and adorable Zach Anner won Your Own Show! But in a supertwist not unlike when a movie turns out to be a dream, his rival Kristina Kuzmic was also awarded a series on OWN Friday.

I knew Zach was going to take it when I saw this. Someone spent a pile of money, which wouldn't have happened had he not been going to win.

Also winning: anyone watching with television creation aspirations, as EP extraordinaire Mark Burnett brought his beltless guru-dom to teach us how to make a pilot presentation. So sayeth MB, vision is one thing, execution another. So how did he do?

First he brought the losers back to help Zach and Kristina create a 3.5-minute proof of concept tape encapsulating their show idea, which Oprah called "a wonderful message for the world." After shooting all day they did 8 hours editing, almost killing Zach in the process, but ya'll that's TV – long grueling shoots and technically difficult nights. It's why everyone grows an edit beard. Once I was up until 4am dueling a Digibeta deck then delivered the tape to A&E on Long Island in a blizzard because it's like that.

Now they're ready to pitch. Wolf whistle at a suited Mark Burnett. Oprah will make The Final Decision.

[There was a video here]


Kristina's cooking show's cohesiveness is a testament to her editor's wily mustache I'll wager. I think it's over when Oprah and MB both note a fatal flaw in the cheating of the grabbing people off the street. Guy At Takeout Window #1 is being played by Kristina's friend, which means we are being played as well. What we are watching is fake and that's a problem.

[There was a video here]


Rollin' Around The World With Zach Anner is funny and fresh. Oprah wants to know who's writing his material. (It's him.) She's worried about his stamina.

There's a lovely little speech by Burnett about pitching, having been told no "9,000 times", including my new motto, "It is what it is." Hero packages roll of both contestants then Oprah announces the winners. Both of them! Hmmm. I love Zach, and Kristina seems like good people. My couchmate says, "Well, Oprah needs shows for OWN, it's a great way to get projects for her network." Srsly?!

Dearest Oprah,

Congrats on a compelling season. Next time you have to choose just one though, okay? It's like an alliance we formed around Ep. 4. I lean forward, you roll heads. There cannot be more than one Top Model!

Authentically,

Shannon

P.S. The theme song is a jam.