"Chef law" dictates that anyone who sees this post before tonight's Top Chef episode begins must join our commenter live blog—or else you'll be sentenced to seeing Dale cry in your dreams forever! Got that? Then what's stopping you?

Actually, I lied about the punishment: You'll really just be sentenced to "no fun," which is probably even worse. So here's how to avoid that fate: Turn on your TV and start watching tonight's episode of Top Chef (which airs at 10 pm Eastern on Bravo), and then join the rest of us as we all post a running commentary on the proceedings in the comments section below this post. It'd be a crime to miss it!

If you watched last week's episode, by the way, you'll know that the "chef law" is actually something that was mentioned by chef Carla Hall, who claimed that "not taking another chef's idea" was the first commandment of this law. This prompted the spontaneous invention of "Ten Commandments of Chef Law" by several members of the live-blogging crew (namely, rebeccarose, The_Obvious, jbeam, Foxcraft, bread_and_potatoes and paul7777). The complete list they came up with is as follows:

  • 1. Thou shall not deep-fry mayonnaise.
  • 2. Thou shalt not overuse the scallop.
  • 3. Thou shall not make foam with every dish.
  • 4. Thou shalt not disrespect the protein.
  • 5. Thou shall not steal pea puree.
  • 6. Thou shalt not forget to taste thy food.
  • 7. Thou shalt not attempt to make a dessert.
  • 8. Thou shalt not underseason thy dish.
  • 9. Thou shalt not heed Marcel's suggestions.
  • 10. Thou shalt not let Angelo mess with thy food.

Of course, there were many more memorably amusing moments during last week's live blog—a bunch of which are featured in here. You'll also want to be sure to watch for the following soon-to-be-memorable moments as we live-blog tonight's episode:

  • On board the ferry to Ellis Island, the chefs will have to make a quickfire dish using only whatever junk food they can find in the boat's snack bar. Will Mike will steal Richard's recipe for "Corndog Tartare" next?
  • Once they reach the island, the chefs will have to whip up dishes based on their ancestral heritage for special guests such as Richard's wife, Carla's husband, and the mothers of Mike, Tiffany, and Antonia. So it'll be a real family affair! I assume, however, that Padma's litigious baby daddy will not be on the guest list.
  • Carla will confess to being in "a little bit of a tizzy" in the kitchen—as if that were something unusual. As we all know, Carla is the queen of kitchen-tizziness!

OK gang, it's time to legally declare this live-blogging forum to be in session. I'll see you down in the comments!

[Image via Shutterstock]