In your warlike Thursday media column: ABC News menaced by soup, more on the Newsweek redesign, Bloomberg vs. the NYT, Stars and Strips vs. weed, and ArtScene vs. Huffington Post.

  • The NYPD was called to the headquarters of one of our nation's leading news organizations today, where employees waited with bated breath, hoping not to be forced to relive the anthrax nightmares of a decade ago. "A suspicious pile of white powder discovered on a desk at ABC News in New York turned out to be instant soup left on the desk by an overnight employee."
  • More on the Newsweek redesign, which we will all immediately lose interest in when it actually hits newsstands: Joe Pompeo found some staffers who actually like it. "It's slick, contemporary and feels like something out of the new millennium—sort of New York mag meets GQ." They're up to the new millennium already! Progress.
  • As if the "newspaper war" (ha) with the WSJ wasn't enough to worry about, now Bloomberg is apparently coming after the New York Times, as well. Jeff Bercovici says that the NYT's recently state plans to remake its Week in Review section came in response to Bloomberg's new move into opinion-mongering. Opinion wars!
  • A reporter for Army newspaper Stars and Stripes has resigned after being caught with marijuana. Stupid military.
  • ArtScene has declared that it won't be contributing any more free material to the Huffington Post, and demands that HuffPo begin paying its contributors. A $315 million sale will do that! It probably won't work, but huzzah for the principle of it.

[Photo via Shutterstock]