World's Biggest Jerk Allegedly Runs Over Ducklings in His Hummer
College student Dillon Pearce probably did not set out to be a jerk of almost cosmic proportions when he head to McDonald's on Monday. And yet, according to police, he ended up intentionally running over four ducklings. In his Hummer.
Pearce and his friends, police say, were harassing the mother duck and her ducklings, who had posted up under a bush outside the fast food restaurant. After employees yelled at them (the humans) to leave the ducks alone, Peace and company went through the drive-thru and parked in an adjacent lot. They then returned, and ran over the flock, resulting in the death of four ducklings. Again: In his Hummer.
They were later apprehended at a nearby gas station. Pearce, through his lawyer, denies intent—in fact, in his telling, he was trying to save the ducklings:
Contradicting that version of events, Nacht said Pearce and two other teens in his vehicle were actually trying to help the ducklings and suggested to McDonald's employees that they move the nest.
"Their impression was there were multiple people concerned about the ducks," Nacht said. "In fact, they had been taking active steps to try to protect them." ...
Nacht said the three men in the Hummer didn't see the ducks when they returned to the lot – and he questioned whether they even hit the creatures.
And well, we don't know if we should disbelieve him, as we'd like to live in a world where jerks of that magnitude just don't exist, except in tween comedies, where you know the jerk will get his comeuppance at prom. How can you be more evil than this, without resorting to genocide (ordered from the front seat of a Hummer)?
