Selena Gomez is in the hospital with "nausea and a severe headache." Tina Fey is in damage control over Tracy Morgan's homophobic rant. And Russell Crowe has some opinions about penises. Saturday gossip won't be marching in the Puerto Rican Day parade.

  • Selena Gomez was taken to the hospital following her appearance on The Tonight Show this week, complaining of "nausea and a severe headache"; she's apparently "undergoing routine tests." (Boyfriend Justin Bieber responded the only way he knows how:in hashtag form.) How wonderfully vague! Was it a migraine? Was it just being in close proximity to Jay Leno? Maybe she caught something from all that extremely heterosexual kissing she's been doing with Bieber? Or is she... pregnant? Hmm? It's probably Leno. [Daily Mail]
  • Tina Fey did her best to walk a line between defense and condemnation in a statement on Tracy Morgan's violent homophobic outburst: "[T]he violent imagery of Tracy's rant was disturbing to me [but]... It also doesn't line up with the Tracy Morgan I know, who is not a hateful man and is generally much too sleepy and self-centered to ever hurt another person." True story: We saw Tracy Morgan do standup once and he got booed offstage following an extended bit about getting blood on his penis and wiping it on the curtains. So. [USAT]
  • World telephone shot-put champion Russell Crowe spent some time on Twitter this week explaining his feelings about circumcision, which he thinks is "barbaric and stupid." He also Tweeted, to his friend director Eli Roth, "I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats but stop cutting yr babies." This was interpreted as anti-Semitic, and Crowe later apologized on Twitter: "I have a deep and abiding love for all people of all nationalities. I'm very sorry that I have said things on here that have caused distress." Crowe did not use the opportunity to make a "robbin' hood" joke. [NYDN]
  • Singer Lily Allen got married to "painter and decorate" Sam Cooper. [Daily Mail]
  • John Leguizamo will be the Global Ambassador for the Arts of the Puerto Rican Day Parade in New York City, because his dad is Puerto Rican. Or is he? Leguizamo's dad Alberto says that he—like John's mother—is from Colombia. Oops. [NYDN]

[image via Bauer-Griffin]