No one has seen Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez for two weeks! (Well, not no one, but you know.) He flew to Cuba on June 10 for surgery on a pelvic abscess, speaking to media two days later to say he was fine, but he apparently hasn't returned to Venezuela since. According to the not-exactly-trustworthy government, Chavez is recovering well, but rumors abound that he is suffering from prostate cancer and may still be in "critical condition" in the hospital. (His daughter and mother were reportedly flown to Cuba, "urgently.") It's kind of unclear what would happen in the event of his death or incapacitation, given that Chavez is more or less an autocrat, not to mention a big jerk. "The US," The Daily Telegraph writes, "would hope to see a less hostile and more market-friendly candidate for the presidency emerge," which is a polite way of saying the CIA is going to be all up in that shit. [Telegraph]