I thought we lived in a free country, where every man, woman, and Botox-plumped toddler was welcome to crisp themselves to their hearts' content inside an ultraviolet convection oven. But our hard-earned tanning bed liberties are in jeopardy, friends, as state lawmakers are mulling over a new law that would restrict their use among the high school-set.

At least 22 states — including California, New Jersey, New York and Pennsylvania — are considering the legislation, which would bar anyone below the age of 18 from ever using a tanning bed, even with their parents' consent. Their reason? Something about skin-scorching lightbulbs causing cancer.

"Tanning industry advocates" (the very term conjures up leathery conventioneers in power skirts and bikini tops) are up in arms, saying the new law could mean a 10 percent hit to their already struggling trade. What they need now is a celebrity spokesperson — someone can put a familiar face on their maligned product, as if to say, "Hey, I use tanning beds all the time, and look how great I turned out!" If only such a person existed. [AP, photo via Shutterstock]