Man, It's Poor Out There
Whew! Sure is poor out there today! (How poor is it?) I tell ya, it's poor!
It's so poor out there that people are robbing farms. For grapes. Grapes! And the farmers are so poor that they're calling the cops on them. Stealing grapes? Now that's poor!
It's so poor out there that not even Wall Street firms can afford to burn huge piles of money in a bonfire, to engorge their own egos. Instead of giving their summer interns fat checks and free cooking classes and concert tickets, banks are now—get this shit—asking their interns to work long hours in exchange for their $15K summer salary and $2K housing stipend. That's bullshit! Bankers aren't supposed to be poor though. I don't get it!
It's so poor out there that millions upon millions upon millions of Americans have been out of work for more than a year, at the same time that the unemployment rate is rising in most states. Hey, at least they don't have to wake up as early as Wall Street interns. Look on the bright side!
But I tell you what's even worse than the poorness out there: the heat. Of the heat lamps that your employer turned on you while you were on strike on the hottest day of the year. Now that's hot. And poor!
