Angelina Jolie is planning on abandoning her kids in the desert. Amy Winehouse's clothing is distributed. Casey Anthony's seeking treatment. And another grandkid of Queen Elizabeth II is getting married. Saturday gossip is here.

  • Angelina Jolie of Hackers fame has a new family trip in mind! Crossing the Sahara. "It takes 28 days... it would have to be on a camel. I wonder if I could do it in pieces and station the kids along the way," she told the Financial Times. Sure! Just "station" your kids in the middle of the Sahara desert. "That dune over there seems like a pretty good 'station,' doesn't it? See you later, Shiloh!" [Page Six]
  • Amy Winehouse's dad emerged from the house where the singer died to hand out her clothes to fans, which, I don't know, seemed like an impossibly sad and sweet gesture until I read the comments on theSun article asking about who got her bra and panties. [The Sun]
  • Subject of national cathexis Casey Anthony will be seeking psychological help in order to address "mental health issues" dating back to the disappearance of her daughter Caylee in 2008, and therefore won't be giving interviews to any network "for at least a couple months." [TMZ]
  • Crystal Harris has publicly apologized for saying that sex with her ex-fiancé, ancient creep Hugh Hefner, lasted "like two seconds." "The Stern interview scared me, he's harsh," Harris Tweeted. "I was unprepared and blurted out things I shouldn't have said, I'm sorry." Good for Crystal for owning up! Everyone knows that sex with Hef lasts for at least long enough for him to jerk off while someone sucks on his nipple. [@CrystalHarris]
  • Zara Phillips, Prince William's horse-riding cousin, is getting married to rugby player Mike Tindall today. Phillips, granddaughter of Queen Elizabeth II and daughter of Princess Anne, has no royal title, which means that if she is caught stealing deer from the Queen's woods, she will be hanged with common rope rather than a golden chain. [NYDN]
  • Reese Witherspoon and her husband Jim Toth ate a meal in Italy, and—according to the restaurant owner—"drank a very serious wine... the type that only connoisseurs would order." Water for Elephants still looks like a piece of shit, though. [People]
  • Kim Kardashian's wedding invitation sure is fancy! It's covered with "hundreds of jet black hematite crystals" and comes in its own box, hand-delivered to wedding guests by a team of exceedingly polite centaurs, each painted a different pastel hue, who speak in soft French accents. But it has a big typo: "Kristopher" is not a real name, of anyone. [People]
  • Rapper Soulja Boy reportedly purchased a $35 million jet as a birthday present for himself, and then spent $20 million to add four liquor bars, "Brazilian hardwood cabinets," and other baffling rich-people stuff. And this despite the fact that he "Superman dat owes" $26,805 in back taxes! Sounds like someone needs to be a "Soulja Man" and get his finances in order! [TMZ, Radar]
  • Selena Gomez went to Harry Potter Land and drank butterbeer with her friends. Then she went to Hunger Games land and murdered them. [Page Six]
  • May-December romanticists Aaron Johnson, 21, and Sam Taylor-Wood, 44, are expecting their second child. Expecting it to be born, that is. Their other child is named Wylda Rae, just so you know. [People]
  • True Blood star Denis O'Hare married his longtime boyfriend Hugo Redwood in New York City. [Page Six]