The fall movie season begins! And it begins with terrible disease, obnoxious weirdos, scheming school girls, and lovable whales.

The Autobiography of Nicolae Ceausescu

Using previously unseen footage from Romanian national television, this documentary paints a picture of notorious dictator Nicolae Ceausescu. So it's a nice, lighthearted little film that you should take your kids to. (NY only)

Beware the Gonzo

In this comedy/drama, Ezra Miller wages war against Jesse McCartney and other high school villains. With a blog! Or a newspaper. Basically they start a gossip blog about all the bad things that people do. So it's high school Gawker. Ugh. (Limited)

The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975

Composed of footage shot by a Swedish documentary crew in the late 1960s and early 1970s, The Black Power mixtape chronicles the struggles of activists like Angela Davis and Bobby Seale. Plus modern day people like Erykah Badu and Talib Kweli speak about the influence those folks had on their own ideology. Buy a block of tickets for your next Tea Party gathering! (NY & LA)

Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star

Nick Swardson plays a Prince Valiant-haired weirdo who discovers that his parents were once porn stars and sets off to make his own name in the biz in this comedy that is suffering from one of the most obnoxious ad campaigns in recent memory. So if you can get past that, go see this sure-to-be infuriating movie. (Wide)

Burke and Hare

Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis play two real-life grave robbers who, desperate for cash, started murdering people in Edinburgh so they could sell their cadavers to local doctors for study. So it's like Sweeney Todd only without the singing. And without the cannibalism. Probably. (Limited)

Contagion

All the movie stars in the world get together to die of a terrible disease in this hyper realistic and well-reviewed disease thriller. If you want to spend the weekend building a hermetically sealed chamber where you can live out the rest of your days disease-free, then you'd better get started and go see this right now! (Wide)

Creature

This a B-grade, hell Z-grade, monster movie set in Louisiana. A bunch of young folks (it's never the elderly being horribly slaughtered, is it?) go camping in the swamp (great idea?) and get picked off one by one by some sort of, uh, creature. Turns out, it's Bobby Jindal! "Well hullo there..." [CHOMP] Terrifying. (Limited)

Echotone

Oh goddd. This is a documentary about the music scene in Austin. And about how the creative youngs are warring against greedy real estate developers and stuff. So, great. Another opportunity for Austinites to groan about cool they are. Shut up, Austin! (NY only hahaha it's not even playing Austin, jerks)

Grave Encounters

This is yet another of those found-footage movies, this one about a reality TV show crew that goes into an abandoned hospital and experiences ghost zombies or something. Eh, you've seen one ghost zombie, you've seen 'em all. Apparently this movie is actually pretty scary, but what's scarier still is that you're going to pay $13 to watch a bunch of shaky camcorder footage! Aiee!!! (Limited)

Inside Out

A teenage boy refuses to leave the house because every time he does something mortifying happens, but then a girl moves in next door who has literally the worst hair you will ever see. Look at that hair! That is some next-level Topanga hair. Just really bad hair. And the actress's name is Brytni. That's not even a name! That's just letters that sound like a name. But it doesn't matter. Boy's got a total bone for Toepynga, so he's gotta go outside. Comedy ensues. (Limited)

Laugh At My Pain

After bombing at the VMAs (I mean, everyone bombs at the VMAs, but whatever), comedian Kevin Hart gets a second chance with this concert film. This tour was apparently quite the boffo success, so it's probably worth seeing this movie just to find out what all the fuss is about. But, again, he kinda bombed at the VMAs. (But, again, everyone bombs at the VMAs. It's impossible not to.) (Limited)

Love in Space

The sequel to Hot Summer Days, this is a wacky/wistful Chinese comedy about a woman and her three grown daughters trying to find love in this crazy old world. Weird costumes are worn, space station make out sessions occur, and an actress named Angelababy plays one of the leads. I think you should definitely see this movie. (Limited)

Main Street

A hokey lookin' movie about livin' life in Texas, Main Street features two British guys (Colin Firth and Orlando Bloom) doing silly Southern accents. The movie's stellar cast (Bloom excluded) can be credited to its pedigree: respected theater director John Doyle (the Sweeney Todd where the actors played their own instruments) directs a script by the late, great Horton Foote. So maybe this won't be hokey! But, I dunno. It looks pretty durn hokey. (Limited)

Mere Brother Ki Dulhan

A Bollywood film of the highest order, Mere Brother follows a young man looking for love and finding it with an audacious rocker chick. Obviously zany conflict arises and everyone makes funny faces and then there is singing and dancing. I'd say that Bollywood movies are totally weird, but y'know what? That's a billion plus people over there. So I think our movies are the weird ones. Those are basically just regular movies, when you consider the world's population, at least. So, yeah. Totally normal movie! (Limited)

One Fall

I can't tell if this is one of those Christian movies? I don't think it is. I mean, it's about a dude who miraculously survives a terrible fall (get the title?) and then learns that he can heal people and, uh, walk on water. So wouldn't the walking on water and other magic stuff be sort of sacrilegious? So I don't think this is one of those Christian movies. I think it's just a feel-good story about feeling good. That's all. (Limited)

Shaolin

A Chinese war drama, Shaolin deals with all your typical stuff: cocky young guy, mean warlords, imperiled people. It was a big hit in Asia, partly because Jackie Chan is in it, and now it's kick-slapping its way to our shores. If you like martial arts movies, this is the big Michael Bayian blockbuster of the season. (Limited)

Tanner Hall

Peep a look at your future Elizabeth Salamander or whoever that dragon tattoo lady is, Rooney Mara, in this movie about an all-girls boarding school. And hey, look who's there playing the dangerous older man! Why it's ol' Tom Everett Scott, the man who was to inherit Tom Hanks' throne but then something happened. Now he's here, in this. Life! (Limited)

Warrior

The world of mixed martial arts fighting gets the heartstrings sports movie treatment in this drama about two Philly mooks (Australian Joel Edgerton and British Tom Hardy) who are both brothers and MMA opponents. Everyone talks tough and yells and Nick Nolte stumbles across the frame at a few points. The ending will be triumphant, because that is how these movies end. (Wide)

We Were Here

A documentary about all the weirdos, queers, freaks, and homos who moved out to San Francisco and lived the crazy life and then, well, then AIDS came and a huge percentage of an entire generation of gay men simply vanished. So, this will make you cry a lot probably. Sniff. (NY)

The Whale

Ryan Reynolds narrates a documentary about a whale in The Whale, about a whale. Who doesn't like a whale? Everyone likes a whale. Some seals don't like a whale, but we don't make movies for seals, we make them for humans. And for whales. The Whale, ladies and gentlemen. (Limited)

Where Soldiers Come From

This is a terrific-looking documentary about a group of friends from a small town way in the north of Michigan who all join the military and disappear off into those bloody sandstorms we've created. Sigh. No one ever said fall movies were cheery ones. (Limited)