The Jacksons had an elaborate escape plan for if Michael had been convicted of child molestation. Amy Smart and Carter Oosterhouse get married. And Charlie Sheen gets roasted. Sunday gossip is getting a tattoo with its BFFs.

  • According to Jermaine Jackson, the Jackson family would have smuggled Michael to Bahrain—which has no extradition treaty with the U.S.—on a private plane if he'd been convicted of child molestation,. "If they were going to sit and crucify my brother for something that he didn't do, America deserves us not to come back here," Jermaine said in an obviously very coherent and sensible interview with the Times of London. "At the end of the day, this is supposed to be the land of the brave, home of the free, democracy, freedom of speech," he later said, as he continued his pattern of saying things that make complete sense and are not just strings of vaguely related words. [AFP]
  • Varsity Blues' Amy Smart and HGTV's Carter Oosterhouse got married yesterday. But why did they marry each other? you might ask. An insider tells Us: "He's an eco-carpenter; Amy drives a hybrid and is the greenest girl I know. They are perfect for each other." She drives a hybrid! 'Nuff said. [Us]
  • Cliff Robertson, who won an Oscar in 1969 for his performance in Charly, died yesterday. [NYT]
  • Charlie Sheen was roasted last night for an upcoming Comedy Central special. Was it funny? You'll have to tune in to find out! No, totally kidding, you don't have to tune in, sorry for scaring you like that. Spoiler alert: It was not funny. [NYDN]
  • Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale got tattoos together in New York last night! Hudgens' is of two mermen giving each other handjobs, and Tisdale's looks like this. [People]