In your mute Monday media column: the internet is for porn, Brian Williams gets a new prime time show, Dr. Phil's exclusive is completely ethical, dead body dog collar weatherman resigns, and The Hairpin hires.

  • What are people spending all their time looking at on the internet? News! 2.6% of their time on the internet, that is. People spend about nine times more time looking at "social networks and blogs," and about 35% of their time overall checking out "Other (including porn)." But if you include porn in the "news" category, news becomes a very important thing, on the internet. Related: nobody likes big news sites on the internet.
  • Big news in the hermetically sealed, self-referential television news world: NBC is launching a new weekly prime time show called "Rock Center With Brian Williams," which "will be built around the week's biggest and most interesting events, meaningful and in-depth stories, and timely newsmaker interviews." So, sort of a bootleg 48 Hours type deal, is my guess. EARTH-SHATTERING. More importantly, what is it with NBC's fascination with its own god damn address? 30 Rock, Rock Center, Top of the Rock. Fuck your address, NBC. Your ratings suck.
  • Dr. Phil got an exclusive interview with Casey Anthony's parents. How? Not by paying them, of course, that would be outrageous and wrong. He simply donated an undisclosed sum to their charity, from which they are allowed to draw salaries. Dr. Phil strongly disputes any characterization of this as paying money to Casey Anthony's parents. Dr. Phil has a reputation to uphold, after all.
  • Much, much more interesting news from the TV news world: Brett Cummins, the Arkansas TV weatherman who woke up in a bathtub after a night of coke next to a dead man in a dog collar, has resigned from his position as KARK's meteorologist. And isn't the loss of a good damn meteorologist for the entire Little Rock metropolitan area the real tragedy here? No.
  • This American Life's Jane Marie to The Hairpin.

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