Fall is in full-swing, with gritty action movies, kooky sex comedies, and wistful dramas all flooding into the theaters. Let's take a look at those films and everything else that's opening.

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Tom Tykwer, who brought us Run Lola Run a long time ago and then kind sputtered out, directs this story about a buncha weirdos living in Berlin, because if there's one thing that Berlin has, it's weirdos. You got weirdos above you, weirdos below you, and weirdos crawling up through the drains over in Berlin. Anyway, these particular weirdos are all screwing each other and whatnot, and then a baby gets made. Whoops. No more free-floating Berlin living for you weirdos anymore. Too bad. (NY & LA)

Drive

Some jerk who nobody likes called Ryan Gosling stars in this movie about driving that nobody wants to see. Why would anyone want to see this movie? (Answer: Because it looks great! Can't wait to see this! Albert Brooks!) (Wide)

Happy, Happy

Funny little Norwegians made this funny little movie about funny little friends in a funny little town. Happy, Happy actually won a big award at Sundance, so it's apparently pretty good! And look how cute and elf-like the women are and tall and shaggy the men are. Forget the movie, let's all go to Norway! (NY & LA)

I Don't Know How She Does It

Finally a movie comes along that, once and for all, explains women. No longer will women and young girls have to sit and wonder who and what they are and how they do what they do. Here is the film that answers that. Well, at least for wealthy white women who live on the East Coast and have nannies. At least for them. It seems to go something like this: Single mother with four kids living in a housing project but struggling tooth and nail every day to feed and educate her children, she gets "Yeah, well, that's what you get." And married mother with high-powered career and a nanny gets, "I don't know how she does it!" Good for us. (Wide)

Jane's Journey

Good-for-nothing layabout Jane Goodall blabs on about "the environment" or whatever in this snoozefest documentary. What has the environment ever done for us? As Mr. Burns once said, "Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing? Well I say, hard cheese." That's exactly what I say. Mmm... hard cheese. (Limited)

The Lion King 3D

Hamlet's uncle kills Hamlet's father, but Hamlet eventually gets revenge and kills his uncle. Jonathan Taylor Thomas voices. (Wide)

My Afternoons with Margueritte

Gérard Depardieu plays a simple Frenchman whose world opens up when he meets an old lady who begins reading him Camus. Everything's sweet and nice until Gérard gets drunk and pees all over the old lady and her books. Oh well. (Limited)

Prince of Swine

This Z-grade comedy about sexual harassment (hilarious!) looks like it was made for about $10, and with a $3 mind. It sounds like it's dreadful and while I wouldn't often say this, you probably shouldn't go see this movie. (NY)

Restless

The girl dying of brain cancer is not the focus of this Gus Van Sant movie. Rather, in true Van Santian fashion, it's the angel-faced young man who wanders around dreamily. Much as Paranoid Park fetishized a serenely gloomy version of Portland skater culture, Restless takes gentle aim at Portland quirk, the movie coming complete with manic pixie dead girl and a g-g-g-ghhhosssst! Of a dead Kamikaze pilot named Hiroshi. Oh brother. (NY & LA)

Silent Souls

This well-reviewed movie tells the cheery Russian story of a man helping his friend make a journey with his dead wife's body while the man himself recalls his difficult childhood, which involved a stillborn sibling. Ivan Reitman directs, with music and choreography by Jerry Mitchell. (NY)

Sound It Out

Sound It Out is a documentary look at the last surviving vinyl record shop in Teesside, a borough in a bleak corner of Northern England. It's about the music industry, sure, but it's also about poor Northern England, about the towns the Industrial Revolution built and forgot and let rust into nothing. Sigh. (NY)

Straw Dogs

The brutal Sam Peckinpah classic is pointlessly remade and moved to the Deep South in this story of a sissified intellectual-type man who must tap into his baser instincts to maim and kill when Alexander Skarsgard comes a'callin' with a band of murderous rednecks. There's a long, graphic rape scene, so be sure to bring your kids! (Wide)

The Weird World of Blowfly

This documentary chronicles the later career of Clarence Reid, an R&B music legend who moonlights as Blowfly, a superhero costumed rapper who specializes in exquisitely dirty lyrics on songs like "Electronic Pussy Sucker." So it's about your grampa basically. (Limited)