Politician's New Ad Reaches Out to Death-Metal Voters
To get more young people to participate in the Satanic ritual of voting, Polish politician Jedrzej Wijas hired a death metal band for his latest campaign ad. It seems low-budget and doesn't include any bloodshed or horror-monster scenes, but it works okay. Maybe it's the dim lighting or the way he's holding himself, but Wijas comes off looking pretty fierce, like he's ready to punch someone (probably his opponent). We like that characteristic in a politician.
Among America's politicians, who would be the best to star in a death-metal ad? Rick Santorum (death metal name: Sanctorum) seems like a natural fit, mostly because he's fueled by Google-search rage and already associated with sexual gore. Or Herman Cain (Son of Cain), who sometimes showers his audiences with pizza sauce ("blood"). Or Newt Gingrich (Gangrene-ich), whose wife Callista is the ultimate disenfranchised, hair-sprayed, blonde metal vixen. The possibilities seem endless, just like our suffering on this dark, cold planet of filth seems endless.
