'Indisputable Evidence' of Abominable Snowman Found
Is the mighty and fabled Abominable Snowman currently, as we speak, right this moment, trouncing around upper Russia, stealing livestock and what not? Well. It's certainly an issue over which experts can disagree.
As per widely accepted standards in the world of anthropology and cryptozoology, we can't be certain we've found a mythical creature until a group of tourism-hungry local officials claim to have seen it, or its hair, or at least some tree branches that it broke when it was walking around. By those standards: the Yeti has been found!
Their claim appears to be based on bent branches, a single unclear footprint and a small sample of grey ‘hair', found in a cave.
The administration of the Kemerovo region, where the cave is situated, yesterday announced that ‘indisputable evidence' had been found.
But critics said the expedition was more about making the area a tourist destination than true science.
"This could also, theoretically, be indisputable evidence of an alien landing site," said local Kemerovo officials. "The broken branches could also be consistent with the Loch Ness Monster dragging itself through the underbrush on its annual migration to its secret Siberian hibernation hole. Or, you know, lots of things. What are you into? There's a nice little lodging house right downtown, why don't you come check it out?"
"We also have hookers," they added.