Way back in October of 2010, a certain performance artist/actor had just published his debut collection of short stories, the album cover of a rapper/Tweeter had leaked, and emailing gubernatorial candidates was our national pastime. And, lo, those many months ago, it was the last time we saw Don Draper's perfect mug (and other parts of his perfect body) doing something so wrong it's right: proposing to secretary/hot babe with maternal instincts, Megan.

So much has happened since then...what have Joan, Roger, Pete, Trudy, Lane, Sally, and everyone else been up to? Is Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce back on its feet after Lucky Strike's departure? Has Joan given birth to Roger's child? Have Don and Megan already celebrated their perfect nuptials and departed for Aruba wearing matching honeymoon suits?

Thankfully, we'll find out when the national 60s-nostalgia drought ends on March 25 when Mad Men returns for its long-awaited Season 5 on AMC. The secrets are back, as is the backstabbing jealousy, nearly unbearable sexiness, and outright adultery. And a nation cannot wait.