A puppy so small and delicate she makes other puppies look like oafish Grendelian monsters is now up for adoption in California. The best detail of this story is that the 4-oz dog's name is Beyoncé, so when you read her harrowing biography (won't take long; she's only two weeks old), you can pretend you are reading about Beyoncé the First, Mother of Blue Ivy, Queen of All She Sees.

(Note: All explicitly puppy-related details have been replaced with ellipses to preserve this illusion.)

  • …Beyoncé is thriving after escaping death [AND HATERS] several times.
  • Beyoncé's mother…was found pregnant and wandering the streets.
  • At birth, Beyoncé was not breathing and did not have a heartbeat. The Grace Foundation's veterinarian, Dr. Russell, and executive director Beth DiCaprio were able to resuscitate her.
  • Beyoncé was small enough to fit in a spoon when she was born. After two weeks of being fed by hand, she's almost as big as an iPhone.
  • The folks at The Grace Foundation are submitting an application to the people at Guinness World Records to see if Beyoncé is a record holder. [She is.]

Images of Beyoncé the puppy are available via The Grace Foundation's Facebook Page. No one has stepped on her yet, thank God.

Images of Beyoncé the human are available via Google Search.

[Image of a slightly bigger, slightly cuter puppy via Shutterstock]