Fifty Shades of Grey, America's number one Soccer mom smut erotica, has been banned from Florida's Brevard County Libraries system.

Apparently the S&M Lite activities between Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey have disqualified them from a place on the shelves.

Archaic library services director Cathy Schweinsberg explained, "Nobody asked us to take it off the shelves. But we bought some copies before we realized what it was. We looked at it, because it's been called ‘mommy porn' and ‘soft porn.' We don't collect porn." ACK.

I haven't read it, but when a friend emailed me the book because it is 2012 and you can email books now, I scanned through it looking only for the sex parts, naturally. And there were a lot; the book is a vampire-inspired fanfic novel, after all. But to me, the most striking part was that "holy crap!" seems to be our heroine's catch-phrase of choice. She uses it for everything. As in, "Holy crap! I love pickles on my tuna sandwich." And, "Holy crap! He pulled down my underpants and spanked my bottom." Or holy crap, the word "bottom" is pretty gross and does not even belong in an erotic novel.

[Image via Getty]