New Pictures of Katy Perry's Bare Ass Allow Everyone to Experience Life as John Mayer
World-renowned acne medication spokesperson Katy Perry went to a water park yesterday and (NSFW) flopped her bare ass around for the whole world to see.
It seems Perry's bathing suit bottoms went totally awry after she rode a Raging Waters body slide contraption evidently designed by some sort of pornographer. When Perry stood up (directly in front of photographers and a minimally-helpful lifeguard), her bikini bottoms had relocated to new real estate approximately 2,000 miles away from the ass they were meant to be covering.
Just to be clear, this wasn't a cute Coppertone Girl-esque southward bikini tug. This was like when the U.S. government detonated nuclear bombs at Bikini Atoll and all the natives had to evacuate.
As if letting the whole crowd peep her badumdum, The Daily Mail reports that Katy Perry also almost flashed her whoopsiedaisies on a subsequent water slide trip, when she "nearly spilled out of" her halter bikini top.
(Perry had apparently adopted the public embarrassment neutralization tactic of laughing the incident off and getting right back on the ride that had shamed her, a risky move considering homegirl's bikini had already proven itself decidedly un-waterpark friendly.)
Although Perry's no-bikini-bottom style of bikini bottom was definitely in violation of Raging Waters' dresscode, which states that swimwear must be traditional (no cut-offs) and non-provocative (no bare asses), it is unlikely she was arrested, or even disciplined following the incident.
She probably ate her body weight in Dippin' Dots "The Ice Cream of the Future" before leaving the park, though, because her preoccupation with flirty, sexy foods suggests she is a stress-eater.
The Daily Mail // Image via Getty