Great news if you've recently entered the market to buy a moon rock that is big but not too big; the fourth-largest moon rock in the world (available for private purchase) has just been put up for auction.

The rock is a 4-pound slab of meteorite believed to have been knocked off the far side of the moon by an asteroid. The auction house is calling it "Dar al Gani 1058," but you can rename it to whatever you like once you get it home.

Because the moon basically vomited this rock down to Earth, the artifact is only expected to sell for around $380,000. It would fetch a much higher price if it had been brought back to earth by an astronaut or machine, due to high ferrying costs and space tariffs. (The real reason is that then the rock would have a place in the history of man, which is awesome, rather than just a place in the history of the universe, which is boring.)

According to SPACE.com, three "seed-sized" pieces of moon brought back to Earth by a Russian robotic probe in 1970 sold for $442,500 at auction three decades later. None of the rocks brought back by the Apollo astronauts have ever even been put up for sale. The reason for that is definitely not that they are pieces of Styrofoam painted gray and brown to look like rocks, the reason is just.

The opening bid for the 4-pound moon rock is $170,000. The meteorite is expected to land in museum a when the auction ends on October 13th, but there's nothing (except a dearth of cash) to stop a member of the general public from snapping it up instead.

So, what will you do with the moon rock once you have purchased it as now, surely, you understand you must?

Here are some ideas:

  • Carry it on your person, as a tool of self-defense. Any time a stranger steps too close to you, bash the rock into their skull. Consider adopting a catchphrase like "Get ready to see stars, buddy" or "'GoodNIGHT!' – Moon."
  • Fashion it into a geode ring, to stay on-trend for fall
  • Paint it two or three of your favorite colors. Now it is a paper weight.
  • Print out your favorite short story and glue the pages to the moon. Now it is a book.
  • Print out your résumé and glue it to the moon. Now it is a résumé.
  • Use it to perform powerful magic.
  • Hide it in your pocket just before the start of the office-wide weight-loss competition. Leave it out of your pocket at the final weigh-in. Congrats on shedding a bonus four pounds.
  • Throw it through the window of an old woman whom you suspect is a witch, then feel bad when your mom makes you get to know her and you discover that she's just a lonely, childless widow.
  • Googly eyes.
  • Offer to bring "an out-of-this-world centerpiece," to Thanksgiving at your friend's house.
  • Place it in your refrigerator to remind you to do something.
  • Set up a museum in your backyard. Wrap a corpse in toilet paper (mummy) so you have more than one exhibit.

What would you do with the moon rock?

SPACE.com // Image via Heritage Auctions