Glenn Beck Wants to Cloak America's Men In American Jeans
Great American pot-stirrer patriot Glenn Beck has finally discovered his purpose in life: to make jeans. Like so many great homophobes before him (see also: none), Beck has gone and opened himself a fashion house.
The Washington Post reports Beck decided to start the line after he swore to boycott Levi's in response to this ad, which shows sex-crazed, drug-addled young people protesting. Beck's clothing line is named 1791 Supply & Co., after the year the Bill of Rights was ratified. (Oddly enough, it was the Bill of Rights that gave us freedom of assembly. But I digress.)
The jeans are only for men (women wear aprons and petticoats only) and come in two fits: Dad in his garage workshop ("classic") and Dad at the grill ("straight"). The straight cut comes with a special buffalo top button and the classic cut comes with an Indian top button, as Indians are very important to Mormons like Beck.
The 1791 jeans well, of course, will be made exclusively in America. So go ahead and buy a pair! They're only $130 and Fathers Day is only eight months away.
