Our hate mail this week included a strongly-worded defense of Brad Paisley as well as a polite request for tame headlines. We were mistaken for Huffington Post Teen, Huffington Post College, a fitness blog, and—once again—the LinkedIn complaints department. Read below.

Dearest Gawker Pen Pals: This is an ideal letter. It has clear and constructive criticism, hilarious link suggestions, and a generally polite and jocular tone. Please take notes.
Dear Writer: Please correspond with us again!

Subject: News html titles.
Body :Good morning,
When you are making links to news articles, even if they are safe-for-work, or simply use loose language, please title the links so us paranoid people who have filtering can read some of them.
For instance:
https://www.gawkerarchives.com/5994381/not+fucking-your-professor-confronting-a-nibble+nabble-bandit-and-other-questionable-advice
is not something I would click on, even if the content is acceptable in my area. I also do not mail links like that to my friends.
Try naming them a bit nicer, please.
How about something like:
https://www.gawkerarchives.com/5994381/carburator-adjustment-for-vega
Or something innocuous. Also for words like p*, v*, and so forth.
Thank you, your sites are some of my favorites.

This writer is not going to repeat himself, so listen up.

Subject: The only time
Body: This is it. The only time I will contact you. You sir, no matter what your education, accolades, self image, are a moron.
In case you haven't noticed, there is a condition out there called racism.
It's alive and well. People like you keep it alive by saying this is stupid or that is dumb and perpetuate the condition.
You can't say anything good and you can't keep your mouth shut although either is preferable to putting your foot in your mouth.
A rapper and a country star write a song together with a message about racism, but you have to attack where paisley is from with a negative comment about him not being from the real south.
Fuck you. I was born in California, but I have a southern pedigree, both my parents were born in Oklahoma, and my dad's parents came from Arkansas.
My grandpa was a racest, my dad heard me saying nigger when I was 4 or 5, (I'm well over 50 now) and he sat me down and told me about his father and how it was wrong and all people bleed red.
I don't think I understood then, but it made an impact on me.
So my point, as it were, is that anything that gets the conversation started, is not a bad thing.
So now sit down and write your article again. You don't have to publish it, but if you did....

Good at metaphors.

Subject: A tip for you
Body: You know how you've changed to a new web layout? Well none of the new layouts have links to your other sites. You used to have them on the old layouts. And now for the tip...Make sure you have it all working right before implementing a change over. Did anyone mention that the new layouts have all the warmth of an ER operating room?

Why do people write to us when they are enraged over LinkedIn? At least this fellow did not begin the query by type-singing The Brady Bunch theme song.

Subject: Linkedin Over Reacts and Fucks Up Thousands of Users
Body:
1. In an effort to combat spam Linkedin added a new feature. If just one group moderator tags you as a spammer for any reason at all, your posts are vaporized in all of your groups.
But it gets worse:
2. There is no recourse. You will never know who killed your posting privileges or why. Maybe it was due to your politics? YOU WILL NEVER FIND OUT.
3. Contact Linkedin customer support and they tell you go fuck yourself.
http://www.pbdink.com/blog/2013/03/29/linkedin-post-happening/
http://www.linkedin.com/groupItem?view=&gid=1426&type=member&item=228142324&commentID=-1#lastComment

In which we are not Huffington Post Teen or College sections.

Subject: Procrastination Article
Body: Hi! I wrote an article about procrastination and why students shouldn't procrastinate in school. I thought it would be a good fit for an article posted on the Huffington Post Teen or College sections. I would greatly appreciate it if you read it and I look forward to your favorable reply!

Nor are we a fitness blog, but you correctly assessed our title, so points for you.

Subject: gawker fitness blog
Body: Hey,
I recently came across gawker fitness blog. I really love what you have done!
I work for a skate supplier and we are starting to look into blogs to help promote our company.
I was wondering, do you accept guest posts or do any type of sponsorship posts?
Let me know!

An extennnndddeeddd interrobanggg in this one.

Subject: Jimmy Saville
Body: https://www.gawkerarchives.com/5994007/margaret-thatcher-is-dead
You just described Jimmy Saville, the UKs WORST EVER Pedophile\ Trafficker\ necrophilliac \possible child murderer and VERY good friend of Thatcher as :
"a powerful radio DJ"
Well done,
How about you do some fucking research.
WOW!??????????
later.

And that's all we got. Have a great weekend, everyone.