“Gentlemen, young men, marry you a woman. Dude—if she’s clean, and you’re clean, and you marry her, and you keep your sex right there, you’re never going to get a debilitating disease and/or death. It’s safe!”

That’s Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson, who introduced Ted Cruz at an event this morning in South Carolina. Cruz—presumably out of great respect for the racist and homophobic child-bride advocate—invited Robertson to speak with him at several recent rallies as he made his way through the state in preparation for tomorrow’s primary.

Ted Cruz, for his part, seems happy to approve this message.

So remember, kids: Have sex with your clean wife and live forever.

This has been a message from the Cruz campaign.


Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com.