Kim Kardashian is currently pregnant with her second child. This is great for Kim and Kanye West and also me personally, because Kim likes to share. While more guarded celebrities have gone to great lengths to conceal the havoc pregnancy wreaks on their otherwise flawless bodies, Kim is real—and a real wellspring of information.

During both of her pregnancies, Kim has spoken openly in interviews and on social media about the cravings, hormones, stress, weight gain, and malaise that comes with carrying a child to term. When fans doubt her bonafides—some suggested early on in this second pregnancy that she was faking it and using a surrogate instead—she produces receipts.

She is also not shy about sharing the darker elements of motherhood, for which I am grateful.

I have never been pregnant myself. Neither have any of my close friends or sisters, which makes the whole thing impenetrable to me. My mother has been pregnant before, obviously; out of politeness, she would never tell me the terrifying truth about it. Kim Kardashian would and does. Here’s everything she’s taught me to expect when you’re expecting.

Pregnancy Lips

This week, Kim revealed one of the many wild trappings of gestation: “pregnancy lips.” What are pregnancy lips? They’re these:

Apparently, when you’re pregnant, your lips get puffy. Who knew? They can also get more chapped than usual. During her first pregnancy, Kim parlayed this unfortunate side effect into a sponsorship deal with Eos lip balm.

According to Kim, “pregnancy lips” are about the best thing that happens physically during pregnancy. The rest...the rest is not good.

Placenta Growth

Did you know that your placenta can grow into your uterus? And stay there? Resulting in severe blood loss and the need for a hysterectomy directly after delivery?

This terrifying pregnancy complication is known as “placenta accreta,” and I learned about it on an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

In the ep, filmed earlier this year, Kim explained that her placenta “grew onto” her uterus during her pregnancy with her first child, North:

This doctor that I saw today told me every worse case scenario…he was like, “Ok, when you have your baby, this will be your last one, the problem is your placenta grew onto your uterus. So when you have another baby, your placenta will go right to that hole and then we’ll have a team of doctors waiting right there, to remove your uterus and put you into emergency surgery right there because you can’t bleed too much.’’

A nightmare none of us will soon forget.

Preeclampsia

Kim also introduced me to the pregnancy complication that is “preeclampsia,” which she suffered during her first pregnancy. Preeclampsia is when you get high blood pressure before delivery; it’s potentially fatal. Kim explained this all on an episode of Ellen after she gave birth to North.

“I had preeclampsia, which was really tough,” she said. “I had to deliver early...the whole pregnancy was so...I had a few medical issues, so it was really tough, and I gained a lot of weight.”

Swollen Feet

Before Kim Kardashian got pregnant with her first child, I was aware that your feet can get swollen during pregnancy. I was did not know that this could happen:

Kim captioned the following photo, “Swollen feet or a new Givenchy tattoo?”

Or?????

“I Wouldn’t Wish It Upon Anyone”

Kim obviously loves her child, and she was brave enough to get pregnant again. Does this mean pregnancy isn’t really that bad? Fuck no, says Kim. In the Ellen interview mentioned earlier, Ellen Degeneres asked her about “women who say that [pregnancy] is a beautiful thing.” Kim immediately responded, “They are lying. They are LYING to you. I’m telling you.”

She continued solemnly, “The pregnancy, I wouldn’t really wish that upon anyone. Anyone.”

Later, she told Elle UK, “My body just went crazy. After five months I swore I’d never get pregnant again. I got so huge and it felt like someone had taken over my body.”

I thank Kim for this real talk. If all these things happened to one of the most famous women in the world, who has access to the best medical care imaginable, there is no such thing as an easy pregnancy.

She’ll never be the same.

I’ll never be the same!

Thank God Kim Kardashian got pregnant, because now I never will.

Art by Sam Woolley. Photos via Splash News. Contact the author at allie@gawker.com.