Ancient Masshole's Touching Message Discovered Under Boston Floorboard
Alex Robinson, resident of the great city of Boston, Massachusetts, discovered a heartwarming message—presumably written by a benevolent former resident—while pulling up floorboards during a renovation of his Charlestown home.
It read:
And America at war to fight Germany. Threshold 5/10/41 by Albert Stella this floor was laid. Go fuck yourself.
Albert Stella's screed, Boston.com notes, was penciled in cursive on a piece of wood. "Go fuck yourself," among Bostonians, serves as a traditional greeting and de facto mantra—like the Hawaiian "Aloha," or South Asian "Namaste." This instance, assuming the date is correct, serves to remind us of the deep history from which Boston's treasured local customs spring.
"I really liked the floors Albert Stella put in, but I wasn't able to keep them," Robinson told Boston.com. "I realized the floors weren't level, so the only thing to do was pull them up. Lo and behold, I was told to go fuck myself."
Who could know that Stella would decide to reach through the ages and touch Robinson on such an ordinary day? We can only imagine how the tech consultant felt, discovering a note from his ancestor, written in the language they share. As if to say, "You are not alone, Alex, but one perfect step in the miles-long march of tradition, which is wicked cool if you think about it. Anyway, I gotta go make a packie run, because the stores close early today, but I'll be watching over you. Take care of yourself, kid. Fuck your mother. Go Sox."
